hula hoops and hampster wheels

SO I'm sorry - ok I didn't mean to cheat, It just happened. I like to win and I will not apologize for my competitive nature. I let me urges get in the way and I cheated at UNO and you busted me doing so --- and I'm sorry I got caught and I'm sorry that this has affected our game playing time together. I just really like to win, I'm not a good loser and I'm wondering if we can play some 80's trivia and this will somehow make it up to you. I cheated at UNO and I am sorry.

lurve and junk
xo
-punky

So when I had braces, I had a toothbrush hiding everywhere-- 2 in the purse, one in the glove box, one in my emergency kit in the trunk, 2 in my desk drawer at work, an endless supply at home. Somehow, I have dismissed the constant need for a toothbrush. Now my usual toothbrush stashes are now fully stocked.

Dave and I were housesitting -- and I forgot my toothbrush. Dave offered me the use of his -- since we had crab and steak dinner and I had particles of dinner stuck in my teeth. I was truly touched, but declined as I was jsut getting over a cold and didn't want to implant cold germs on his toothbrush. But it was very sweet that he offered. Just being a sap.

So I've stopped smoking, I'm on week 3. Things are good, I'm past the needs, wants and cravings- however I am not past the the blessings I refer fondly to as phlegm nuggets. Little balls of goodness I get to hack up.
In addition to the phlegm nuggets, my taste buds are coming back to life and certain foods are really intense esp DORITOS! I've also had a couple bloody noses and bloody boogers in my facial tissues -- I can't not peak sorry! I just want to know how much longer this is going to happen for.

On the same line, my new oral fixation is .... drum roll please:
Eating Oatmeal -- It's super yummy, esp the apples and cinnamon -- and It's a good way to make sure I eat my breakfast, and It fills me up so I'm not eating too much other stuff and it leads to a healthy heart -- maybe I'll make up for the decade of damage I did.

The other things I put in my mouth include: Gum, most sugar free varieties, stride fruit is pretty good as well as my favorite GUM of the WEEK: Juicy Fruit. Tootsie Pops, Dum Dums.

Other things : Crosswords, Sudokus, WordSearches, Yarn, Fluff Friends, and of course blogging.

So at work -- we have this medicine/first aid cabinet. And a couple weeks ago I was suffering from sever nasal congestion and discomfort. So I decided to use the freebie work stuff until I got myself to walgreens or cub.

Well -- I started taking the drugs as directed - with water, every 4 hours, 2 pink pills. Then the next day - to keep my relief on a more even kilter, I've decided 1 pill every two hours would be the better plan. I keep this up --- and on my way home I start to notice, that I'm not exactly sure how I got to where I was, I notice that I'm leaving my turn signal on an extra long time (which btw is my pet peeve and I rarely do such and unthinkable thing) I chalk it up to several of the other issues at hand: pms, quitting smoking, tiredness, the angles of the moon and anticpation over the recent eclipse, the decrease in caffine in my system the nasal decongestant did not come to mind until --- I met Dave for dinner.

We met at PF Changs and we had a little bit of a wait, and we were talking and I was getting loud, louder than my usual boistrous self, and much more animated, I bit my tongue, I was extra affectionate and extra goofy. I had a fit of laughter, uncontollable , unstoppable laughter --- about nothing, I am amused by everything, I feel drunk. I haven't had anyhting to drink, I've removed diet coke from my diet -- (Now I'm drinking it for the sole purpose of caffine -- I much prefer non- diet sodas now... shocking I know -- but I don't my ass and thighs to expand past the point at which they are so I have to suffer with the horrible taste of diet coke -- anyways.... onward) So we are finally seated and we order our beverages -- Coca Colas, and chicken lettuce wraps and crab wontons for appetizers. We wait, we talk, I'm still a little giggly, Dave thinks this is very amusing.
We order food, we talk, i giggle, we eat, I take a litle pink pill after I'm done eating. He asks me what kind of drugs taking since it's in this bright orange paper. He reads the drug information. Turns out I shouldn't be taking this drug due to a thyroid condition, this warning has been on other things and I haven't really paid much to it, but it makes sense - so I promise to discontinue use.
Dinner ends, Dave walks me to my car. Dave likes to park in the furthet possible spot from the door, so I've parked in what I consider the furthest possible spot -- he has parked in the other direction so it is agreed that I will take him to his car if he walks me to mine.

I drive him to his car and exit the Arbor Lakes twisted roads that lead to shopping. Dave goes his way -- and I go, well I go... the wrong way --- somehow - I get myself turned around, going the wrong way, leaving my turn signal on for I don't know how long, I get myself int a neighborhood that I thought connected to the road I pass on my way to work --- nope it was a similar name, so I drive around a couple blocks a couple times. It's dark and I'm stuck in the inner circles of suburbia purgatory --- where every street is the same name except the lane, ave , ct, circle keep changing. WHY can't it be alphabetical like everywhere else! Finally after a near breakdown -- I notice my turn signal is on and I turn it off. It must have been my lucky switch cause once I turned it off -- I found my way to a road I knew I could cut through to find the road that I know will lead me in the right direction, I'm still a ways from being found-- -so I turn the corner, cross the street, what's this? A roundabout? I didn't know there were roundabouts out here! yielding, yielding, straight and then taking my next right, I find myself -- and continue AND finally I am on the road I know, I am finally found -- I call Dave, tell him I got lost and he talks to me until I'm almost home.

this is just a reminder for me -- and preview of what is to come, maybe --

• my kitty cat update, he's much better now!
• have you ever shared a toothbrush?
• More on the life and times of Miss Gladys -- maybe she gets a new name!
• phlegm nuggets -- when will they stop?
• best date ideas ever
• The best gift ever trifecta (sp? just doesn't look right good god I' can't spell)
• How spell check saves my butt on a daily basis: my issues with incontinence ( the word, not the function )
• high on a nasal decongestant
• song lyrics that get stuck in my head
• politics -- can we get a real canidate to run?
• birthday highlights
• why i hate my job, but love to work
• a rant on babies -- in preperation for my visit to Milwuakee to see Kate
• fortune cookies
• yes, I cheat at UNO -- an apology
• Kristen's Rules for Cribbage

but it has started to walk -- yes, that's right -- I've commenced on a walking lunch hour -- so instead of KitKats and potato chips, I am walking through my lunch hour, around in circles for now -- but once the weather improves -- the variety will as well. Now, for the big gasperoonie -- I've considering joining a gym, so that I can eliminate some of my squishiness. We'll see what transpires in the comming weeks -- but yes, I'd just like to clarify -- I do not run, I walk briskly -- well as fast as my little legs will go-- and my walking buddy is on the tall side so I have extra steps to take to keep up with her -- but so far so good. I even bought an outfit for walkings (well two actually -- I don't want to be that person who wears the same thing)

What I'm reading this week:

Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez, Edith Grossman (Translator) -- it's a little slow and it reads like a translation -- I'll know more once I get past page 20 -- but the font is so small and jam packed on the page it makes me sleepy to read.

One for the Money (Stephanie Plum Mystery Series #1) by Janet Evanovich-- Almost done -- this book is hysterical, I have the rest of the Stephanie Plum series to read and then off to Janet's romance books. Thanks for letting me borrow the books Sara!

Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah-- The new Kristin Hannah book I had to have, I love her books -- they make me cry and apprently the new hormonal me loves to cry- shocking, and yet true.

Dream When You're Feeling Blue by Elizabeth Berg -- only a couple pages into it and I'm really into the main charachters head already poor Kitty, her boyfriend is away to war (wwII) and she's commited to writing him a letter a day.

So I'll admit it -- I'm not the best descion maker, ok let me re-phrase, I like making descions but I'm not so speedy at it, and when it comes to where to eat, what to do -- I'm at a loss, mostly because I enjoy myself the most when surrounded by the proper company.

I'm A o k sitting on the sofa - playing with yarn, whining about supermodels and fasionistas and whiny designers, and bad brides on TV-- obviously this sofa was set in Gwennie's house, I am also a o k with playing cards, sitting around drinking beers, being silly goofy me, I don't need fanfare - yes, it's fun to get out - see & do new things, but make the decision to do so - is a little overwhelming -- what's wrong with the couch, dinner and movie, playing some game that I will try and cheat at...?

So for my birthday - it is my job to take command of the weekend before and plan something... Dave asked me what I want to do -- and honestly, as sick and disgusting as this is -- I just want to be with him. He's ditching me for a baseball game on my birthday proper and I have a family dinner ritual to attend to anyway so I am supposed to think up something special and fantastic for my birthday, yet at the same time -- not lame.

My problem with this whole thing is the pressure -- I've never been in a relationship on my birthday, I've had the curse of March since dear god, well always -- if I've been in a relationship at Christmas - it has surely failed by the time my birthday rolls around. In addition, I have never had birthday sex -- I know this is lame, but it's never happened on my birthday, and I was very convinced that I'd have fantastic wonderous birthday sex this year, but alas -- due to the way the calander fell --- and baseball season... another year will have to pass.

So I'm trying to decide what to do the weekend before my birthday... We will be celebrating Friday and Saturday. Friday night - I'd like to eat something, watch a movie or tv and have a couple beers, maybe play monopoly or scrabble. Saturday, I want to do something fun -- but it's MARCH in MINNESOTA and there's snow and nothing fun to do outside -- so this is what I've come up with courtesy of citypages.com: so yep, I've decided -- I want to get either pizza or wings and spend time with Dave, that's what I want to do for my birthday. Or else that Polka Dancing looked fun... I can't decide.

Now, what I want for my birthday present is going to be viewed equally as lame -- I just want a card, yes, that's it - a birthday card - preferably something more sweet and less funny -- but I'll be happy either way -- with some sort of heartfelt message handwritten to me. If he wanted to be a show stopper he could get me 4 cards one for friday - saturday - sunday and of course one for the real official birthday monday... but I'm only really hoping for one and that's all I really want -- and I know he hates shopping for cards so I'm almost expecting him to not get me a card, but he can never complain that I'm hard to shop for.

So this weekend I was stranded without my girly face wash -- and under Dave's urgings I tried his face wash and although the smell is extra manly -- it did wondrous things for a couple of my 2nd puberty pimples -- ugh, So yes, I'm going to get my own stash of manwash for me I'll just have to find a girly moisturizer to mask the manly smells, that smell great on Dave but make me feel a little less feminine. In addition to his face wash, i'm also ok with his soap, shampoo and conditioner -- all gender neutral clean smells -- and I love his deoderant on him -- even more than cologne - yep, I love the way his pits smell.

So I'm taking the pill, and I've tried to be on the pill before -- and it has failed me -- I've turned yellowish, I've been highly emotional, I've borderline bed ridden for all sleep I craved while being on it, so at my last "Hooray-I'm a Woman Appointment" -- (the least favorite of all varieties) -- she put me on a lower dose of estrogen and in addition to making go through a second puberty - I'd ward of the possibility of baby monsters growing inside me.



The symptoms:



So far, I'm turning into a super sap -- I want to cry at least once a week, over completely irrational - ridiculous stuff. (I better not find any notes that are being passed around about this! haha) Seriously though -- the wrong song on the radio and I'm blubbering, this is very out of charachter and I can't stand it.


I'm fantasizing about making out (among other things) with Dave almost constantly -- and yes, i'm quite the hornball as of recent.

I have no attention span. I"m normally not a clock watcher -- but this whole week I've been little Miss Clock Watcher.

Fits of uncontrollable giggles -- yes, just like they happened in the 5th grade -- no reason, just giggles --- it's entertaining, but annoying at the same time.

I love ice cream, milk and cheese -- I have not been a big fan of the dairy products until last week -- now I love them and I need them, this being typed as I work on a bowl of chocolate ice cream drowning in syrup.

I just want to sleep in. SO now I'm going to go take a nap. I'm tired -- but just thankful that I have my thyroid being regulated and I"m being a good girl about taking my Rx .

This article was in redbook - and it's pretty interesting, especially about the men being afraid of women drivers -- Dave has confessed that he is a little freightened at times when I'm driving but - instead of just being afraid -- he wants to conquer his fear and hope that I'll be a become a better driver. So we trade off at his discretion - I'd be fine with not driving us around - and I'll admit it - I'm a nervous driver, always have been always will be --- but you mix me being a little nervous, a little lost, and god forbid anything beyond the desired clear weather pattern.

But, once Dave's in the passenger seat -- I'm more than just nervous, I'm also dyselexic - I'm about to embark on nervous driver torture -- as someone thinks it's quite funny to yell at me when I'm turning the correct direction. For example -- I'm making a left hand turn -- he will yell in repetition LEFT LEFT LEFT as if I was going the wrong way -- so then I have to stop and rethink about it -- causing me to get more confused about where I'm going. So I would like to apologize to all the women drivers out there who drive well and don't get east/west, north/south, left/right and god forbid how to use 3 roundabouts in a row to get going east bound -- for those who can do it, and do it well -- I commend you and I"m sorry I have perpetuated this Women are bad drivers mentality --- but I'd rather be on the passenger side so don't make fun of me -- I know i'm a crappy driver.

So the truth has finally come out -- yesterday, I admitted to Dave just how ridiculously addicted to diet coke I was --- now, I don't like it all -- but on an average day I would consume at minimum 15 cans of diet coke -- it was my supply of water - my life line -- at the rate I was drinking it - it was like oxygen. He is shocked, disgusted and a little bit amazed, he doesn't drink a lot of coke, he had a whole 1 can during hte day and sometimes coke with dinner. I'm not caffine free just yet, I got up this morning and had some juice -- got to work and had a regular Dr. Pepper, and now it's lunch time and I'm on a diet mt. dew --- and the I don't know if it's my new taste buds from not smoking, or what but the carbonation in diet soda hurts my poor delicate tongue so I"ve been drinking beaucoup de water

Accessories: Jason Preston's Dead Mouse Is Courtney Love's Fault


EWWW!!! How disgusting. I can't believe fashion sometimes.

So I'm still growing out the hair --- this weekend however I got a haircut, it'd been 8 weeks - I was on the brink of insanity! -- The thing is -- I will never get it to look like it did when I left the beauty chair -- no I can try all I want to repeat the process and it will always look just eh --- so I got it cut in an inverted bob -- well sort of, a version of it - so I can grown my hair out with out looking like I want to have a mullet- it was bad... and she straightened it and it looked super cute all piecy and straight and yesterday after my nap --- i was playing with it -- trying to undo my nap hair, and yeah -- no such luck. Then I tried again this morning after my shower - AGAIN no such lluck no cute and piecy striaght hair -- nope i have one of two options at this point --- puffy wrinkles and crunchy crinkles. If I just let it be as nature inteded -- it's a little poofy, and wavy --- if i try to make it messy it just looks crinkled and it feels gross -- I'm going to try and curl it -- let's just hope I don't burn myself. I really just want to get to the pont tail stage of it all --- I"m at the half up stage --- and it'll be awhile now...

I'm not sure what it is -- maybe I'm just getting old but Diet Coke no longer tastes good -- I think I might have OD'd on it - because now it's almost hard to drink, and the bubbles are really intense -- and doritos are spicy --- maybe it's a full moon? maybe it's finally being able to taste after having a head cold? I don't know. But it's kinda of annoying -- so I've made the unofficial switch to diet sunkist -- or regular sunkist and ginger ale is also a tasty treat -- so I now I like my soda cold - fruity and stirred so the bubbles are so bubbly... yes, this was some cold I had.
Maybe I just burnt my tongue on something... hmm. uh oh just had a sneezing fit -- Ava Mazur style with over 5 sneezes in a row. I'm a bit winded now. Ps I love juice now.

For my all time favorite afghan project by a ridiculous amount of yarn --- preferably Lion Brand® Homespun® Yarn -- all one color and dye lot approx. 30 skeins. Yes, that's what I mean when I say ridiculous amount of yarn. Also you'll need a P hook -- I like Crystalites -- for this project although - I prefer Susan Bates metal hooks for other projects.

This pattern is worked together - using two strands at once for extra cuddly soft - heavy duty winter afghan. Try your hardest to remove the yarn from the center -- this might require a chunck of yarn coming out as is the nature of the yarn -- and try creative ways to make sure you use the most of the yarn when one skein runs out before the other - as this will always happen with this project. I've found that making the remaining yarn a giant loop and working from that is an easy fix for the remaining skein leftovers.
Ok so you have your boatload of yarn -- this project can be made in any size so adjust accordingly -- the only rule is that it has to be a multiple of 4 -- so chain as long as you want in multiples of four.

Get to end - chain 2 and the double crochet into the second chain. double crochet into each remaining chain until end. chain 2 and turn ---

Now double crochet in first two chains, and back post double crochet around next chain. then double crochet in next three chains -- back post double crochet around next chaing - double crochet 3- bpdc- 1 - dc3 bpdc 3 contd. til end, --- chain 2 turn.

the next row back post double around the double crochet, then front post around the group of 3 - back post around one, front post around 3 etc and contd -- chain 2 turn.

next row completes the square and starts the next waffle -- and is the same as the third row --

then repeat rows 3 & 4 until reach desired length -- go around the blank trice with simple border or just a modified double crochet -- add tassels if you fancy and viola --

it is possible to complete this afghan in 2 days if you are diligent and bored and have no other plans -- I do not recommend this as the yarn does get very heave and your arms will be sore for the following week --- also this is not a good project for summer as the yarn is heavy and unless you can crochet in a meat cooler or florist's walk in cooler -- it will be warm and toast under the big mess of yarn. This pattern can be modified with differnt hooks and yarn and will produce an afghan in speedy quick time -- however -- the smaller the hook the longer it will take.

I've made 5 of these yarnnies as I call they are nice -- certain colors wash up better than others -- the red was the worst and the brown/purple verrigated was the best -- adequate results from both buttercream and off white and i'm waiting to see the verdict on the blue one I made for Dave.

A close alternative - if you can't stand working with homespun yarn --- is work 3 strands of the any following types of yarn -- caron simply soft, or pound of yarn -- these are better yarns for this project -- if you are being thrifty and want to use up some red heart yarn -- go ahead but it will not be soft until you've washed it 40 times and even then...

The issues with this project include: changing yarns -- tie off the yarn with enough left to hid the string by crocheting over -- don't wait until very end as it will be freyed and fuzzy and harder to hide. Do not make this project with the P hook if you don't mind it being a little holey -- it's still a heavy and warm blanket -- but a toe or two could poke through.

Dark colors will show every cat / dog hair. Keep the yarn wrapper for washing instructions if giving as a gift - and store one extra skein for repairs.

Yay Yarn! I'll miss yarn season as it's wrapping up now -- but I really want spring to get here.

So since my readership is limited- Kate had her baby early, and you know me, I'm not one to start a prayer wheel - but do what you feel you are inclinded to do and keep her and baby Nicholas in your thoughts.

The details :

Friday, March 14th. 2008 - 9:01 pm Kate had an emergency c-section and her baby Nicholas Allen was born in to this world at 2lbs - 15 3/4 inches. Kate is tired from the surgery and being in the hospital all week - the baby is quite small, but doing well with all things considered.

If you have any words you'd like passed on - I'm attending the baby shower the first weekend in April and would be happy to be the messenger.






Now, I'll be honest -- I wasn't excited to go to the shower- I was trying to think of a way out of it actually - but I got suckered in - when everyone was healthy and the baby was still inside Kate's buddah. Now -- I'll be extra honest and say - I'm not so thrilled about going to the shower becuase, I"ll be staying with Kate and her fiance/man a la mancha and I know we'll be in the hospital the whole weekend -- and you know what is in the hospital -- sick people, dead people and of course the funny smells. I'm just not a fan of hospitals- I'm not a fan of baby showers - - but alas, I can not get out of going, and at this point- I'm not allowed to make up an excuse to get out of it, because I'm not a horrible person - and I do wish Kate and baby Nicholas a speedy recovery -- but I'm going to have to put my big girl face on and deal with the hospital, the extra emotions of Kate (and those who know her know what I mean.) and of course going to a family gathering and having to pin the poo on the diaper will be more than my normal lame weekend at home watching tv and feeding my flufffriend.

So it looks like I might have to get this book -- looks scandalous!

http://www.amazon.com/Other-Peoples-Love-Letters-Never/dp/0307382648/ref=pd_ts_b_2?ie=UTF8&s=books

and this looks like it would be interesting:

http://www.amazon.com/Book-General-Ignorance-John-Mitchinson/dp/0307394913/ref=pd_sim_b_title_3

So I've recently purchased som JR Watkins Lemon Cream Lotion and I'm addicted -- but this lotion has one set back. It makes me really quite hungry for Lemon meringue pie and other sweets -- but it smells so good. I wish I could find lemon shampoo. I don't want to smell like dish soap -- but a sweet lemon scent is nice.

on a side note:
I'm trying to make my cubicle less dreary and more springy so I've added colorful butterflies and some fake flowers -- yes, I know you think it's probably tack but it's not -- well it's not too bad anyways -- cheap thrills, gotta love trips to Michael's for lunch. I've got spring fever can't wait until all the dirty snow is gone.

Sooo I've been looking for my collection of really bad poetry to see if indeed it is as bad as I remember. Once located -- if ever? I might post some of these delightful excerpts, probably not -- maybe the one about shaving my legs -- I think that one was funny -- but out of my portfolio, whereever it is - one poem about shaving my legs is probably the best thing out of the whole kit n kaboodle.
It's funny, I used to gobble up poetry -- and I had this fantastic time explicating lines of poems- and then breaking them down into meter -- looking for hidden symbolism, influence, historical reference - now, I could really give a crap, 2 craps, etc. -- I have some favorite books that I hold dear on a bookshelf - and some include favorite poets, but lately --- I'm banning the literary. I'm embrassing the grocery store novel, the used mass paperback, the "this is not something trying to hard to be revolutionary but it has a storyline and isn't trying to be edgy or raw or stark or have an underlying reference to the humanity of all especially when you compare and contrast it to the works of Rilke,[insert old dead guy's last name] and Joyce -- no, I want to read a book that has a story- is well written with proper charachter development and I have some what of an emotional attachment to the story - it makes me laugh - yes, out loud or sniffle/cry, or [enter wide array of emotional responses]. And when I'm done I feel like it was worth reading -
I don't want to waste my time with something that I get done reading and I'm all WTF? Maybe, I just like different things now, or that I've read so much of the literary end that I'm bored - unimpressed etc. and I like my cheap paperback fiction now and I like throwing them away or turning them to Goodwill. I still really like finding new authors - like Laurie Graff -- she's pretty unknown and her first book was fantastic, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs". Maybe my whole issue is --- I'm done reading about things that are set in [ pick a different century] -- I may not have and ipod but I'm really quite done with anything pre-modernist movement. Ok well my sudafed has officially kicked in and it's time for bed.

My apologies for any run on sentences and fragmented thought or [grammatical/spelling errors]

So as mentioned earlier - I had to have my brake switch replaced on my car. But voila I got a car wash out of the trouble --- can you tell a week later? Nope. The good news however - is that it might have motivated me to get it washed on a more frequent basis -- maybe...

However, those drive through car washes -- are not for me, I get dizzy like dinasaur, and nauseus like a hungry hungry hippo who ate too many marbles -- ok i'll stop this analogy; as is getting out of hand...and I'm sure I can picture a few people telling me to shut up already... and I wasn't clever enough to come up with something about Operation or Candyland ---) but none the less the drive through washes -- not for me. I thought they were really cool when I was a kid, but no more. Just the thought of the blue flaps attacking me or even just the hot water swooshing over the windows is too much to handle (ps. I don't like driving in thunderstorms either)
The other alternative --- is to go to a "wash it yourself" place or get the hose out and do it in the driveway. This doesn't appeal to me either for obvious reasons -- #1. I'm too lazy. #2. Yes, I'm too lazy. #3 I know I'm going to end up soaking wet because the Klutziness always rules "not in my favor", you wouldn't want to see me hurt would you? #4. I know as soon as my car is clean, it's going to rain, snow, sleet or I'm going to park in the migratory pattern of ducks, geese, robins, tweety birds, all of birdkind and be covered in flecks and speckles #5 and... if that by chance does not occur, it's going to be bugs and icky things --- and I'd end up angry and needing another car wash -- so as you can see the best possible solution to the problem is to not wash it at all, or not think about it at all -- until I'm going insane over the dust, salt, poo and dirt and the forecast is calling for rain, yes that would be ideal.

I've never spent so much ime in bed for one whole weekend - I've slept hours and hours on end, watched the movies I picked up on friday night which included: The Jane Austen Book Club, American Gangster, No Reservations and Once --- which was about music or somthing, & I fell asleep almost immediately after pushing play. You guessed it -- I'm sick. I'm pretty sure it's an ear infection/sinus infection because when ever I yawn or burp like the delicate flower I am, my ears pop and I feel better for maybe 5 minutes.

I'm drinking lots of tea, honey/lemon water --- I'm considering torturing myself with the clove of garlic. I'm off to run to the store to get some OTC medicine. I'm sick of mucus so I think I"m going to have popsicles and oj for dinner -- maybe some crackers since I need my carbs. Maybe I'll make soup -- ahhh I'm too lazy to actually make soup today, I might open and heat up a can of soup. Not the same I know. I know this next part will come as a complete shock -- I'm sick of diet coke. I've been drinking water - tea and oj like crazy. Gatorade sounds good right now -- ok I better go to the store and stock up on supplies.

I'm blaming Day Light Savings.

So my birthday is coming up -- and I've been recalling the best and worst of the birthdays of the past.

The worst birthday -- by far was 2004. I was in Winona, my friends had moved away - my parents forgot it was my birthday -- kind of hard since it's my Grandma's birthday as well -- but they forgot to call anyway -- I walked to the grocery store, picked up a round birthday cake -- and ate the whole thing while watching Seinfeld re-runs.

My kindergarten birthday party was fantastic -- my parents hauled me and my friends to the Chucky Cheese in a Motorhome and we ate pizza and played games.

Once in awhile my birthday will fall on Easter -- it's happened twice so far, once when I was 8 or 9 and I spent the Saturday before out with my Grandma -- we went shopping and I sat on the Easter Bunny's lap for a picture. The second time it fell on Easter -- was not so fantastic -- it was my 21st birthday -- and since I was older than most of my friends -- I ended up going to the Gay 90's with 2 underage friends but it was ok since it was 18+ night and one of the friends sister drove us there --- and I was inebriated - gone with the wind, or two sheets to the wind -- and apparently I was sharing my drink and was kicked out. We went back to the friends house- and then we got up at 4 in the morning -- only for me to drive us back to Winona, hung over --- and tired and I had to work at 7:30. Not so much fun.

The following year included one two many drinks as well and I learned the valuable lesson that one should not eat macaroni and cheese after consuming large quantities of alcohol -- as it will liquefy and want a show stopping exit. I hate to vomit, so lesson learned.

Last year for my birthday -- I had a quite weekend away at Gwen's -- I probably disappointed her - because my loud obnoxious drinking phases has ended --- I can still be loud and obnoxious mind you-- I'm just not a good drinker -- a couple beers or a couple bloody mary's and I'm good.

I don't remember a lot of my earlier birthdays -- or they all blur together -- a bunch of girls watching Annie or some other cheesy movie in sleeping bags out in the living room floor, I remember going to a religious shrine and meeting a bishop for my birthday, I was thrilled then - but I was also probably 8 -- how lame were my parents!

Once thing has remained constant --- my mother is obsessed with getting multiple birthday cards --- I've also adapted this practice - but I limit myself to two, she will get 8 -- and we get a birthday card each day for the week of our birthdays.


This year for my birthday --- I just want to go out to dinner and cuddle on the couch with Dave watching some wonderful Monday night TV- -- it's bad enough my birthday is on a Monday. God knows I don't need the cake or the fuss -- maybe some anti wrinkle cream? OK not yet.

Ok so I can be a sap sometimes. Dave & I went to Stillwater last month - and while we were there - we went into a couple antique shops -- and my favorite thing to look at - all though lame and uncovetted are the post cards -- more specifically the post cards with messages on them -- I could probably sit and mill through these all day looking for some torrid love affair, some thoughtful expression of tenderness from miles apart -- but most of the time it's about the weather and the affairs of the day-- that's life though, it all boils down to the weather and tedious things we do.

Sooo as my procrastination project from writing the book I've almost completed and outline for -- I'm working on a epistolary novel --- a novel of just letters, one sided as though the reader was the receiver of the letters -- so the it would be epistolary and 2nd person narrative... I'm not sure if it will work -- I'm basically assuming the reader is my lover,(since they are after all love letters) but I can't assume the reader knows anything because in the 2nd person narrative the letter is the only source of information.

So I started out trying to write a love letter to Dave, but all I can do is picture him rolling on the floor laughing at me being Super Sap -- I send him greeting cards -- and they are short and sweet - sometimes funny.

So I've been doing some research looking for perfect love letter -- not to mock up and send to Dave -- I 'll stick to my greeting card practices there -- but for my epistolary novel.

Love Letters :

Civil War Letters:
http://spec.lib.vt.edu/cwlove/

Amusing Letters:
http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/index.php?name=News&new_topic=9

Some odd love letters: click on the color boxes to read:
http://www.sleeptrip.com/300loveletters/2.html

I'm still not finding what I want to read --- probably cause a love letter -- when written correctly has to appeal to the humanity of the reader. Maybe I have no humanity? Nah, I'm just finding crap -- total crap.

For those of you who know --and those of you don't I have been the recipient of some horrible - cheesy love letters from someone we'll call B -- they arrived daily at my mailbox, and were filled with god awful poetry and ungrammatical sentence structure -- i.e. the never ending sentence. Anyways -- it's always nice to get mail -- -but the love letter should be the once in awhile occurrence as opposed to the daily annoyance.

Maybe -- I should do a book on post its -- what we write on post its -- I'd probably have more success finding adequate post its for inspiration...

Soooo main character Gladys has some details,

She's a nurse at a small town hospital --- think Winona or Princeton or something equally as small. She loves her job, but she's not the best at it, she klutzy and is alway knocking over bed pans, running into wheel chairs and basically any inatimate object found on earth, and she's known as The Bruiser when it comes to drawing blood and inserting IVs. But she's great at listening and caring for people and she's smart when it comes to working in the field -- she just lacks finess.
She a little chubby -- think size 12, which is really not that chubby morelike standard -- but you know everyone thinks in terms of the size 0 -- per societies lame, yet perpetual shove of unrealistic-unhealthy ideal down the throats of the american public at large -- ok off my soap box -- so she's not Barbie, probably Barbie's opposite, she's shorter - 5-4 ish , (in my book that's tall!) brown curly hair that -- (has a frieghtful reaction to humidity) modest bust size, she's not ample, but she's not concave (all though, that could explain her klutziness?) She likes to run and go canoeing on the river, but refuses to do aerobics cause the thought of spandex freightens her. She has blue eyeballs and a cute nose. Her overall appearance is that of everywoman -- not a super model , un-super model, tv star, heck she's not even an anchorwoman -- but then again she wasn't beaten with an ugly stick either.
She lives alone, ok she has a pet --- a pet rabbit, FooFoo who is always escaping, hiding and destroying but she loves him and so she tolerates his quirks. Her home is a quaint house, she had a hypochondriac of a patient leave it to her in her will, the woman had ailments miles long and no family to tell them to so with her frequent visits to the hospital Gladys and Ruby build a friendship as Ruby lives vicareously through Gladys tales of an almost-but not quite 30 something. But as funny as some of Ruby's ailments or suspected ailments are -- she gets ill and passes and she leaves her small stucco home and tacky furnishings to Gladys. And Gladys misses her - so she leaves some of the furnishings including the pink bath room as Gladys left them. She tries to bea good homeowner --- but she has a several disastorous episodes, but with the help of her new friend Louis who happens to work at the local lowes/home depot/ menards/ hardware/ lumber / home improvement extravagza store.
She's dating -- she's had a series of boyfriends - dates and flirations but everything seems to back fire -- until she meets mystery man --and decides to give up on the whole love thing all together. or alternatively -- she falls in loves - puts a picket fence around her tiny home and grows cabbage patch kids... haha ok just kiding. Ok so I don't know how the love life is going to play out exactly....
She's got the best friends -- Fran, Leila, Delaney they plan a trip to go to Seattle for some ridiculous coffee bean enthusiatist hobby she has. They have mini- adventures annually and Gladys' friend Delaney sends a scrapbook to her each year. She has friends from town, friends from the hospital, friends from college and childhood friends that pop in and out of Gladys life -- but on a daily basis she feels a little alone -- since she's not married, not putting up the white fence and not poping out babies -- this is why she enjoys the company of Ruby so much -- because she's old and alone -- and aside from being a little medically confused she's had a great life. But Gladys still likes to live vicarsouly through her friend Sheila and her tormented marriage... Roger and his litany of boy toys, Anna and her swelling baby belly and pastel addiction. And of course several other people and almost cliched situations --- I know this part needs work.

But it's progress so far even if it is all rough and somewhat scattered.

umm I've been a procrastinator lately -- from having a productive evening -- some new vices some old reborn...

well I'll start off -- making lists
tv - maybe it's the winter-itis I have but I love it.
facebook.com : jetman, flufffriends, flair -- I really do love flair
myspace.com , stupid surveys
amazon.com, book hunting, music hunting, crap hunting
allrecipes.com, recipe hunting
photobucket.com looking for crappy backgrounds, icons for myspaces -- things to make into flair
Internet reversi -- GOD I love this game - It's just Othello on your computer -- I'm addicted
Non-Internet Hearts: currently my friends names are: Gwendolyn, Kenzie and Jessica but they change every week.
reading in the bathroom: current bathroom book: The Risks of Sunbathing Topless : a collection of true travel tales
cheesy movies -- too bad my vcr took a crap before I could watch all of my crappy movies.
pretending to knit. three rows and I'm done.
crocheting, reading patterns -- getting a headache and going back to watching tv
color coordinating my yarn bin
laundry -- ok this one is not new -- I'm a freak and I love doing laundry-
apples
trident gum in a variety of flavors
almondette cookies
oh and here's the shocker -- Orange soda -- non diet are you as shocked as I am!

So I took today as a floating holiday -- I've stored and stashed plenty of vacation time up and I had some things I needed to do today so ta-da the magical floating holiday was used.

I slept in -- got up at 8:30, that's later than average for me. Normally I'm up during the week at 5:15 and on the weekends, 7:30 and I'm wide awake. Granted - I like to go to bed early, I'm old that way.

So I slept in, I took a bubble bath, played online, worked a little on plotting for the book -- poor Gladys is still so skeletal in her development as a charachter - I'm a really good procrastinator - -to illustrate this -- for my procrastination - I decided to reorganize my closet and drawers -- I have a crap load of clothes -- I usually wear the same 12 outfits but I found in my cleaning today some items that have been missing. I folded, hung items on hangers -- I gave up once it was time to match socks... another day.

I vistited with my mom, We talked about my Great Uncle Hank who is now in hospice care - and when we are going to try and visit him - maybe this weekend. I dread the goodbye visits -- but even worse is not having the oppertunity to say good bye, both of my grandfathers passed before I could say goodbye and my maternal grandmother too. I sent her flowers and she got them, but by the time I bought my amtrak ticket she had passed. So this news about my Great Uncle isn't shocking, but he's my favorite Uncle, and I'm worried about my Auntie Helen since they've been married for 65 years.

My mom got ready for work and left and my dad, did his fatherly duty and took my car into get an oil change-- ( I don't like to wait around for things like this) Well he came back and it turns out -- I don't have brake lights. It's not the fuse - it's not the bulb so I have to take it in to the dealership since it's covered by warranty. So I get my Dad to follow me there, and on the way we pass Ramsey Elementary School. Buses are loading, the speed limit lights go on, it's 35 miles an hour, and there is a crosswalk sign and lady in neon in the middle spinning her stop sign like a baton, it's not facing any one direction, I have slowed down below the speed limit, there are no children or crossing traffic, so I do what everyone would do, proceed to go through- do to the spinning nature of the stop sign it was not pointed at any one direction it was being twirled around and around. The lady in neon obviously wanted her spinning stop sign to be directed at me, so she put her little flag in front of my now stopped vehicle and began yelling at me--- so I do what any good commuter with a healthy dose of road rage does, at first I apologized as her directions were unclear and she continued yelling at me -- so I told her to get the hell out of my way and to learn how to do her job. My dad who was right behind, and also experience the twirling stop sign first hand and second hand-- also gave her his x-rated version of the same speech -- along with his vibrant hand gestures, and choice demeaning phrases. This lady needs to get fired, and join the circus so she adequately perform her baton moves. So today, for once my dad is my hero, normally he just the cantankerous asshole I live with that never has anything good to say and spends most his time complaining about politics, and the lack of the TV guide in the Star Tribune. But today, he's my hero --

We continue toward the dealership, I'm ahead by a couple cars, and I get stopped by a train, I wait the arm goes up- the car in front of my goes through -- and I go through and then the arm goes down again. I hate train tracks --- mostly since college and the dishboy I worked with at Sammy's got killed by a train -- and the ones on 47 have had several deaths associated with them -- I'm already nervous since I'm driving without brake lights, I had an encounter with lady in neon and now this... so I look down and see that I'm almost out of gas! What next! So by now my dad is stuck behind train number two and I'm on 169 now, pulling into the holiday station. I get gas -- brr it's fricking windy and then I carry on, back on track to the dealership. I get there, pull to the service door, give my info the guy in the nylon pullover my information and dispose of 4 empty coke cans in the nearby garbage. Meanwhile they guy is trying to convince me to get my 30K mile check up and that it's on special for $950 and that it's soo crucial that I get it done, and what better time than right now. I say no thanks and ask about the minimum 30 special only $350 --- mind you I'm not at 30K miles yet, I have a good hearty 3k miles to go -- the guy continues, saying he can throw in an oil change for free today with service --- Umm I just got an oil change, that's how I found out about the brake lights -- weren't you listening? And another note -- I really like this current situation where I give my dad a blank check and he goes to Slim's Motor Clinic for my oil changes and tire upkeep -- I prefer not to deal with the dealership except for warranty crap - and I really think women are over charged for not knowing crap about cars, so I like that my dad --- who had a carreer as an RV technician and although autos are not his speciality -- he can go in and know what's what - and nobody is going to give him any bs. Plus aside from being a cantankerous asshole -- he has a great bullshit detector and my little dad doesn't take crap from anyone. A little Napoleon complex maybe... but that's aside from the point. So I go out and meet my dad and we bitch about the lady in neon and then I tell him about the sales pitch I got at Morrie's Hyundai -- he was furious and he wants to have words with the dude in the nylon pullover. Then we stop and I get him gas for his troubles and top it off with a Mounds bar, his favorite. So anyways, that's my vacation day, pretty lame and uneventful -- but my dad got to be my hero today.

flower: tulips and bird of paradise tie for first and then peonies and pink roses come in second
season: spring -- right now I want to get out in the garden but the pesky cruchy snow is there.
color: pink, green and red
holiday: April Fool's Day & Labor Day
food: white bread and butter or egg noodles with butter
sweets: all: candy, cookies, pastries.
salty: chips
non-alcoholic beverage: diet coke alcoholic beverage: bloody marys, malibu diets & beer
guilty pleasure: new socks, bubble baths, diet coke
books: too many to really name but the one I read over and over again: The Little Prince
meal: something meaty, something starchy and something green
vacation: midwest road trips with good friends
dream vacation: france or greece
movie: shining through, steel magnolias and when harry met sally
least favorite movie: umm the 4minutes of Saw that Dave and I watched.
smell: laundry, fresh flowers, lilacs in bloom and bread baking, ooh and books
taste: sweets and salties together
touch: dave's head in my lap when were watching tv
sound: music, laughter
sight: sunshine
least favorite smell: umm poo?
least favorite taste: umm pork chops?
least favorite touch: stabbing would be bad, paper cuts stink, so does heartburn
least favorite sound: screaming babies
least favorte sight: blood - it makes me woosy
most embarassing moment: swearing at the wrong moment
most memorable moment: recently? getting the braces off
last time you cried: valentine's day weekend
last time you laugher: earlier today
favorite song: extrodiary machine, fiona apple, tristan prettyman's simple as it should be
barry white's 1st last and everything, ooh soo many.
perfume: hypnose by lancome
cologne: hugo the original -- and i don't care if that's sooo 9th grade.
tv show: NCIS, The Office
restraunt: due to my love for big juicy burgers I'll say Red Robin, but I don't have an all time favorite place.
job: the job I enjoyed the most was working in library in college
least favorite job: umm the portable toilet place
fast food place: mcdonalds
musical instrament: guitar or piano -- heck maybe even the kazoo
wildest moment: steaking down lafayette comes to mind
room: living room, bedroom
board game: scrabble -- but with my rules of course
card game: cribbage -- but with my rules of course
least favorite game: umm maybe barrel of monkeys that's not that much fun
writing utensil: the pilot g2 07 in fine point, blue ink
laundry soap: tide
fabric softner: downy
shampoo: bain de terre in white clover
conditioner: same - bain de terre in white clover
toothpaste: crest
mouthwash: listerine in vanilla mint
newspaper: startribune
website: yahoo.com
radio station: ks95
store: depends on what i'm buying - general retail crap: target, jcp, cub

With my new years resolution to read more, I've decided that I'm going to try in purge the book in my head on to paper.

Right now, I'm in this outline process -- and as Gwennie learned this weekend - I'm not so sure about much -

I have this character - I call her GIRL or more recently Gladys per Gwen's suggestion. She is an average girl - brown curly hair, freckles, a little chubby --- she has a sister who she is in constant competition with over dumb things - but at the moment Gladys is just mad that her sister got a much better name.

Gladys has some problems, a goal and several obstacles. I know I'm being uber vague at the moment - just nothing is super official.

Gwennie thinks that Gladys needs to evolve throughout the story and she doesn't need a better job a fantastic boyfriend or a significant weight loss to be happy --- I agree but I'm having issues getting from the begining to the end and I just thought I'd have a little rant.

On the same lines -- I'm thinking of using a pen name -- since well this chick lit stylings is less than my literary background -- any comments?