hula hoops and hampster wheels

So I'm convinced that David has some sort of fear - similar to my brother's in that it revolves soley around toilet paper.

I'm convinced he waits until the upstairs bathroom is running low on toilet paper and then uses the downstairs bathroom and visa versa - and this continues until I go in the bathroom and use the last measly square on the roll, and then change the roll.

Is it really that hard?

He also has difficulty putting the seat down. But it is his house and his toilet so I don't press the issue but I make a note to always leave it down and put down the lid after I'm done.

If this is our only quasi fight then be it.

There is also the issue of the towels. He complains that I leave random towels throughout the house - on the back of the chair in the kitchen - on the floor in the bedroom on the loveseat on the back of doorknob not connected to the bathroom.

I explain that he doesn't have a towel rack and it would be a act of God if I could reach high enough to throw the towel over the shower curtain like he does. He just shakes his head.

Maybe I'll start hanging the towel up in an appropriate place when starts changing the toilet paper and putting the seat down so If I go on a tinkle mission at 2 am and don't turn on the light my fanny doesn't get wet.

So, today has been a lame day. Pretty relaxing but lame. I've spent way too much time spent online. I've wasted a couple hours reading random blogs. I've come to a conclusion.

If I am ever feeling hormonal or sappy I should just read a bad mom blog. Now, on my blog roll I have included some entertaining blogs that might be written by moms - however they don't turn their blog into a cyber fridge to post every gurgle, crappy picture, and or dirty diaper report about their child on the ever magnificant www.

This is excellent birth control, reading about poop and barf and all the other gross stuff. But then their are the cutsie stories that get me all baby happy and I have to sing my no - babies mantra.

Yes, I realize this might sound cold, or cruel -- but although your life changes once you enter the mama hood it doesn't take over your whole identity, or does it? I'd like to think I'd be a real person too after having babies (9 year plan) (haha)


Aside from mom blogs there are alot of green blogs. Really? You could have saved 100 feet a rainforrest sending crappy flowers to all your friends on facebook and have a cute virtual garden by the time you created and made all those greenie posts. I'm not green but I do love the little green patch - I do it for the flowers not the earth. I'm too lazy to be green. I seperate my cans from the trash but that's about it.

So anyways, after reading all of the blogs I popped in on today - I'll apologize if my content is ever lacking and or disappointing. But sometimes life is lame and uneventful like a Sunday afternoon and I feel the need to share my lameness in hope that something less lame comes around.

Awkward Moment of the Week. So I sometimes find myself in awkward situations, often these situation are not self enduced - sometimes they are, bygones. So I'm going to pick one to share every week. Yes, my fodder for blogs is depleated at the moment.

I have a regular lunch buddy. Camille and I used to sit next adjacent to one another - but then I got moved to the other side of the building and so we don't see much of eachother now. So anyways for the last year or so we've been going to lunch together. We complain and gripe about the office happenings, talk about happenings on our home fromts. We're good friends and have fun at work and outside of work - when she drags me to the gym -- ok that was one time.

Camille has a few rug rats at home and a loving husband, but somehow she had a lapse of judgement, wanted some sort of singledom freedom and has cheated on her husband Fletcher. Well this week Camille and I were talking about lunch and Monday was bad, I had a dr. appointment. Tuesday was Lisa's birthday and I was taking her out to lunch with Maggie. So Wednesday came along and we were due for lunch.

Well wednesday came along and she buzzed me:

Buzz:
K: Yo.
C: What's for lunch?
K: Let's Jambafiy ourselves ( Gotta love Jamba Juice)
C: Ok cool, you mind if Fletcher comes too?
K: uh, yah sure
C: noon then?
K: My time of day.
C: hardee har har
K: K later.

Shit. What the hell did I agree to? Oh well it's really only an hour of my life.


I've only briefly met Fletcher -- he seems like a nice enough husband. He's a saint for putting up with Camille's infedility.


SO it wasn't as bad as I imagined. We got our Jambas and I proceeded to tell funny stories about a recent emotional breakdown caused by a missing a bc. pill and taking two in one day. Hormone overload! But basically I was so nervous about the possibility of awkwardness I just started babaling and made lunch all about me -- until I found out they just got a cat and well then I had to ask all about the cat!

We nearly finished our Jamba's and now were heading back to the office.

A couple days later - I find out that now Fletcher is begining to consider a semi-quasi sort of open relationship. And he's sending her flowers. I don't know what to think. Now, that's an awkward moment. haha. ok lame. sorry. I'll stop now.

So the other day I was in the car and yes, I'm one of those people that sings in the car. I do it to pass the time, to torture myself and for a variety of other reasons.

So on came an Ace of Base song and there I was in the car jamming out. But then the stupid song got stuck in my head.

I saw the sign and opened up my mind I saw the sign.

What a horrible song to have in your head. SO horrible in fact that I sacrificed quality music time to listed to some NPR.

But no, 3 days later I still have the stupid song in my head.

So, after reading a few of my entries you might think that I have a mild addiction to food. Well, I like food -- and in most instances I eat in moderation. I do have indulgences that need to be met i.e. chocolate, diet coke, salty treats to counteract the large quantities of sweets.

But seriously, I eat in moderation and generally enjoy food. However, my brother seems to think that a nutrious breakfast constitutes eating brats or hamburgers? Every day during the week he sticks to his high fiber oatmeal or oatmealesque dry cereals. But on the weekends -- he eats meat for breakfast. I just don't understand this. But, afterall I had a slice of French Silk pie for breakfast -- what? I wanted to eat it before the bottomless pit I call my brother got to it.


More random facts about my brother since I haven't really blogged about him. He's sick and wrong in so many ways, but we all love him just the same.

1) He likes to run. This is almost proof that he was dropped off by a stork instead of being blood related to our family. No body likes to run.

2) He likes old fuddy music -- he's 24 he goes to jazz concerts and likes Chic Korea in ways I will never understand.

3.) He eats alot -- maybe it's because he runs... maybe he just loves eating brats, burgers and other dinner time food for breakfast? But I know I have to put my name on the Klondike bars if I want to have any for dessert.

4.) He's embarrassed to buy toilet paper. So I've been tryign to help him overcome his fear by not buying it for the house -- I don't think this is working cause my mom ultimately feels bad about him getting blush faced when he has to buy it -- I mean seriously -- there are way worse things to buy and get embarrassed about. Maybe it's that we buy the super jumbo pack -- and he just doesn't want the world to know that he shits - like everyone else.

5.) He talks to much. He's an expert on most things and frankly it gets a little annoying when I want some piece n quite and he wants to have a political debate. Hellooo I'm trying to beat my scramble score - don't talk to me!

So I've been watching the Olympics -- Like I do every 4 years. I've always loved them. Maybe, I've convinced myself that watching them is just as healthy as training in the events.

I have been caught up in the swimming events and even with all the medals for the USA -- I still want to watch more. I get really into it -- yelling at the TV. Leaning my body when it gets close to the end, now that I tell you is almost aerobic.

Michael Phelps has done an amazing thing. And Dara Torres - for being in her 40's is also pretty amazing.

So yeah, that's why there has been a lack of blogging -- I've been working out -- sitting in my bed, drinking diet coke and eating icecream, leaning from time to time as the swimmers swim.

This is my one step for progress. I should know better - afterall I had to run out and buy new pants since my other pants just don't seem to fit properly anymore... guess I should probably lay off the icecream, but I was unable to eat it for so many years because I had a case of lactose intollerance that has been magically lifted. So I'm just making up for lost time.

The first 30 minutes were funny -- but then I just wanted to sneak away from Dave and go see sisterhood of the traveling pants.

This is a man movie. A stoner movie. And frankly a disappointment. two stars.

It was awhile ago now.. but well worth the wait.

If you've ever watched The Office. It is pretty accurate description of the office I work in -- only add 35 additional characters to the mix.

Soo in an effort to boost the moral of us glorified bill collectors they had a summer fun day. This included our bosses grilling brick like hamburgers bought in bluk at costco -- they could have been expired but I was unable to check the packaging.

So we had all sorts of goodies to eat, burgers, hot dogs, all the picnicesque side dishes, cake, fruit tray etc. After we went to lunch at our designated times -- we would digest for an hour and then fun would begin.

XYZ had games for us to play. Ring Toss. Watermelon and Jalepeno eating contest. Ladder Golf and yes, a water balloon fight.

I'm sorry-- but I don't like participating in activities, let along physical ones with my co-workers - especially involving some sort of skill or tactile response. I'm just too klutzy for that business -- so I brought a lawn chair like several of my other co-workers who were too cool to participate. And we enjoyed our hour in the sun - smoking and talking - making comments about the XYZ Olympics.

The ring toss -- now I'm not excatly sure who picked this up -- but it wasn't the normal ring toss. It was an enflated shark - as if it were to be used in a pool. Needless to say no one played it. It just say abandonned on the grass.

The water balloon toss. Yes, this might be great fun if you were in comfy clothes or didn't want to get wet -- but mind you we all had to return to our desks to sit for a couple hours before we went home and I'm sorry but sitting around in wet clothes for 2 hours at my desk and another hour for my commute -- it just didn't sound appealing. Granted I could have brought a change a clothes as reconmended -- but alas I don't like changing my clothes at work -- I just can't picture myself half naked in the disgusting bathroom, so no thank you. Some people played they had fun and were ultimately surprised when they got wet. Shocking- water balloons hold water, and they break and you get wet. This is not a mystery of the world. But yet that was the reaction.


The eating contest. If they would have had a Bonzai Burger from Red Robin eating contest -- or a big mac contest -- I would have won hands down. But eating watermelon - that will only result in my peeing every 4.5 minutes instead of my average 17.5 minutes so I passed. But I did eat one piece and didn't swallow any seeds either -- cause I didn't want a watermelon to grow in my stomach - I have a hard enough time fitting into my pants. Jalepenos -- eww. That was for the manly men to prove they like things hot. Gross. Especially with all the news about jalepenos causing the ecoli virus. Ish cabibble.

Ladder Golf. This actually looked fun. Two balls on a string throwing them to get them to wrap around a upright ladder if you will. There were several jokes from my co-workers and manager about them being blue balls -- ha ha . Guess I work with people equally perverted and lapsing into jr. high moments. haha blue balls. But the guys were kinda hogging the game and I'm so klutzy I know that if I threw the blue balls -- they would have hit someone in the head -- and then the freudian slips would never cease.

So I sat- with a group of non participators. It was a nice day.

Wonder what it would have been like with hot firey coals to cross?