I have a friend let's call her -- Camille. Well Camille has a wonderful family - 3 kids, loving husband - a nice home. But something was missing for Camille and she cheated on her husband. Not just once -- not just with one man -- but with several men and on several occasions. In her guilt after realizing that she does indeed love her husband -- and doesn't want her marriage to be based on a lie -- she decided to tell him. She has realized that she has made this fatal flaw -- and the only way she could move past it was to tell him and face the reprecutions of her actions.
He decided to go on vacation -- alone. To think and contemplate this news. He returned yesterday from his brief hiatus and I'm not sure of the outcome. Although I want my friend to be happy and have her marriage succeed -- I don't condone her affairs. I can't -- maybe cause I'm so guilt ridden over every mistake I make -- and having an affair would be the easiest avoidable mistake there is -- maybe I believe too much in love --- granted I've never been married, never lived with a partner -- so maybe I don't know squat diddly nothing about this -- but I know that if you love someone -- you should want to work out whatever it is that might be missing - and going to greener pastures to look for the missing piece although an easy solution -- does not make it the right solution. Maybe I'm so upset over this because -- I can't imagine how anyone would be able to hurt the person you love this way-- you never get away from it -- you either have to admit to the infidelity or live with it - and both would be so difficult. Unless there is no love behind this and the marriage is a facade? I just don't know about that either -- I think they really love each other -- or once did -- but she mentioned that she got the 7 year itch.
I don't know if I can buy into that -- My parents were together for 30 years -- my grandparents together for 60, my great aunt and uncle -- 60+ I'm sure they all had difficult times but they seemed to work through them - and took their vows seriously -- til death do they part -- in sickness and in health -- in shitty times and not so shitty times. Why can't people just remember this?
Then I also try to see things from Phillip's point of view --how will he be able to trust her -- will he want an eye for an eye - and cheat on Camille? Will he hold this against her forever or will he be able to forgive her?
I know I would be able to forgive Dave if he cheated on me, but I don't think I'd be able to forget and it would take ages for me to reach the forgiveness point -- but I have infinite trust in him because I love him, and I'm sure he has the same trust in me. So why would someone even consider ruining this trust trying to fulfill and orgasmic need? I just don't get it --
Labels: frustration, love
