hula hoops and hampster wheels

Looks like another death themed awkward moment. I'll hopefully have a more chipper awkward moment next week. Apologies for the downer topic.


Ok so there is this sorta new girl at work - we call her Cleavy McGee cause she has no concept of what the appropriate dress code entails and some how showing us her saggy mid life crisis wrinkly boobs is the icing on the cake. I've blogged about her before but not sure what alias I gave her then.

So her husband's grandma died. Now I'm not an unsympathetic person by any means - I am sorry for her and her family's loss. But she dominates almost all conversations at break at our beloved picnic table. She's "has" everything, she's "done" everything bigger, better and with more vicissitude than anyone else. Except when the topic turns to sex toys than she just sits there. In a nut shell she drives me crazy. Just be quiet and listen Cleavy. Don't interject your none-sense becuase we all hate you. (OK that made me feel a little better -- see the anger coming out! XYZ Anger Management )

So she is a self proclaimed expert on all things. Including funeral planning.
First off, my dad just past away 3 mo. ago and I don't always want to talk about it - esp. at work. But alas she has brought up the conversation. So she asked how much it cost. OK rude, If it were a pair of shoes, ok fine, still rude, a airplane ticket or gallon of gas, ok rude but understandable in the econmic times we live in. But funeral costs aren't exactly something to talk about over 15 minutes away from the compute screen. But I'm pretty straightfoward with everyone and some how have this badge of obligation to answer a question when asked, So I told her - and then she went on and on how the standard burial is better for the family and friends to process the loss vs. a cremation/ memorial.

So basically, in her "I'm better than everyone" sensability - she tells me "That's too bad that you had to cremate him a proper burial would have been better." I repeat to her how he didn't want to be buried. He wanted to be cremated and how you really have to respect the wishes of the person who has passed. Well, her husbands grandma also wanted to be cremated but they aren't doing that they are going to have the traditional burial. After all she won't know and it's really for the people who are left!

Can you believe this -- My family is crappy cause we didn't spend 10K on a "proper" burial and church hoopla - cause my dad wanted to be cremated and was an atheist. I didn't go into that last detail with her because I don't discuss faith at work even on breaks, too many people out there trying to convert.

But her family is fantastic because they are disregarding all last wishes for their beloved grandmother. And having a ridiculous pompus funeral.

I liked what we did for my dad, it was simple: flowers, urn, stories, pictures and comfortable, it allowed around 250 people to trickle in and out and it was really quite nice and I'd want something very similar for myself.


So I get mad and ignore Cleavy.

Went to lunch at Leann Chin with some friends. And who the heck shows up there -- as we are done eating? None other than Cleavy McGee. So in my blatant bluntness proclaim to the table that it is time to go. Loud enough for Cleavy to hear. Gigi and Feather finish their food and we bust out of Leann Chin's just in the nick of time.

Hope she got a rotten fortune.