hula hoops and hampster wheels

So when my dad was alive he was constantly popping from window to window to see the wildlife frolicking in the back yard. We made fun of him for this - in the nicest way possible. Once in awhile he'd have to shoot at something like a woodchuck.

I'm in the north metro area, not quite suburbs, not quite country. We have neighbors and traffic signs but the nearest stop light is a couple miles away. People shoot things out here, it's somewhat normal.

So anyways his window popping is now my mother's new hobby. She bought some bird feeders and a bird bath and wants binoculars for christmas --

Well, it's great,she has a hobby. She hasn't wanted to do much with her garden this year but this way she can watch the birds. Then call to me and my brother to come and see.

The critter patrol: We get deer, bunnies, squirrels, the neighbors dog and cat in our yard. All will vanish once spotted except for the squirrels.

The birds: My mom is so excited about the cardinals and blue birds, and finches and orioles, the woodpeckers and all the other pretty birds that some how she fails to recognize that the 400 black birds in the yard is quite disgusting.

No I am not exaggerating. I thought I was in a Hitchcock film - when I'm just sitting here in the kitchen.

My cats get jelouse when she goes outside to fill the feeders.
The squirrels have some how managed to figure out how to get the food from the squirrel proof feaders and this makes my mother mad.

So she will scream out the window - instructing the squirrels in a stern voice to get out and get down.

Then the other night - we had a cricket outside the kitchen window, chriping away as crickets do. My cat was going ape shit wanting to kill the shrill sound and my mother - sternly yell'd out the window to stop chirping. The cricket however did not respond.

This behavior has been repeated over and over -- I got up - sick of my mom and now my brother yelling out the window like morons at an insect that doesn't even have an acorn for a brain. I simply shut the window and then there was silence. No more chirrping annoying cricket.