hula hoops and hampster wheels

I love new socks. I used to be addicted to buying them... or perhaps it was prior to my fondness for laundry - I just bought them to avoid washing them? Anyway, It's been a hobby for some time to buy new socks and there is nothing quite like the feel of new socks to brighten anyones day. My toes are happy --- "No one has sweat in these babies before!" is what I imagine they would say -- if feet could talk...



So I recently picked up a plethora of new socks -- came home from work plopped my bag on the table. When I returned to fetch my socks after running to the bathroom. My dad had already snooped in my new bag of socks -- (all's fair if it's left on the kitchen table I guess -- just glad I didn't have lube, batteries or a pregnacy test in there with my socks. haha) Well I go to get my socks -- and if you think I love doing laundry, I can't hold a candle to my dad. My dad was already getting a basket ready to wash my new socks -- he was tearing labels off -- snipping plastic fasners that hold the socks together, removing the metal clips on the fancier socks, and I ask him what he's doing -- he looks up and says, laundry.

I said: Oh you really don't have to, I'll wear them first and then you can wash them, wanting to take my socks back and evaluate my sock purchases -- see how cute they would match certain sweaters and pants -- usual sock addict stuff.

He replies: You can't wear them -- they were made in China -- they probably have lead in them I have to wash them first.

I said: Really, I don't think there is anything to worry about -- can I have my socks back? Were they even made in China? I look a couple of the cotton ones were...

He replies: Once I wash them and they are safe for you to wear.

I said: Fine, as he has already ripped all the socks from the packaging and unpaired them all and they are sitting disheveled in a basket --

The next day my socks are paired -- and rolled together in little balls in the basket.

Since then -- I've been missing random socks -- maybe they were sent to the lab for lead testing? I will never know.