hula hoops and hampster wheels

So I have this friend/former roommate from college who happens to be a new mother. And we talk on the phone from time to time. Let's call her Amelia



Today we had a conversation to play catch up - She's living in her new apartment with her boyfriend, Dick who I think is kind of a jerk, self centered,etc. I've only met him once and the weekend I stayed with them in Milwaukee. He was moody and crabby - and this can be understandable as this was the 1st week their baby came home from the hospital. Ok so maybe he's grown up a little bit and put on his big boy hat? Noooo.



I feel bad for Amelia . I mean - she's with this guy - who I'm sure has endearing qualities - but as far as I can see he's just an a-hole.



They are new parents and he is still satisfying all of his wants before his child's needs. Road trips with the guys, a motorcycle, a new car they can't afford, and he hasn't proposed to Amelia. He says he's saving up for the perfect ring and then they will start saving for the dream wedding.



*side bar*

Now recently Ava posted about how she's downsized her dream ring - which is shocking. But really impressive. And I agree, I mean it's not about the ring, yes they are pretty to look at - but when it comes down to it - it's a marriage that you want in the end - not a pretty bauble.
Bonus points if you get both - but by no means should a big fancy ring be a requirement. Amerlia I'm afraid is still Coo-Coo for Karats. I've never been a big wedding person but again if that's your dream - so be it - but again not about the wedding, it's about the marriage.

*end sidebar*

So maybe this is just me - but if you are living with your boyfriend for years and years and you have a baby - complete with two baby showers. Can you still have the big traditional church wedding filling pews upon pews with hundreds of guests?

I mean, I get - it's the symbolic begining of your lives together forever amen - but your lives together have already started - family has started. Maybe I'm out of touch, or too much a realist but isn't it a lot of time, effort and money to put into a 1 day long celebration and party. (i.e. college fund for the kid or perhaps a down payment on a house?) I'm not saying they can't have a church wedding - I'm saying that maybe they should look at something smaller - more intimate and not just a meal in exchange for presents? Ok maybe that was mean or maybe I'm just incapable of being frivoulous.