hula hoops and hampster wheels

So I've made it through 6 months of grieving. I'm not sure I'm any more adjusted than before. I'm getting used to the changes but it's all very unsettling.

And now with the holidays coming. I'm not full of cheer and quite frankly not looking forward to anything from Thanksgiving through New Years.

I've been put in a predicament where now instead of living at home to save money, I'm living at home to support my mother. Granted my brother helps with some things, mostly his things- and 1/3 of the utilities that I enforced shortly before my dad passed since he's always lived at home and never contributed anything but his angst and temper tantrums and I know everything attitude.

So I don't bear the burden alone but his contributions are fixed since he works in retail and I get the joy of covering the remaining balance, since my mother can't cause she only works part time. I've been helping with household crap since forever, but some how my siblings got out of learning this responsibility lesson and I'm a little bitter.

Apparently it's a o k from me to the responsible one, where my brother can go out and spend oodles of money on going to concerts, getting a guided fishing tour for summer weekend, spend nights out with his friends dinner and drinks, not to mention he buys whatever he wants. And it's never the toilet paper.

But he really pissed me off this week as if I'm not irritated enough with him.
Apparently the groceries I bring home are for the whole household and the groceries he brings home are just for him unless he offers.

The other day I needed pastries- so I brought home a danish. Now I didn't want to eat the whole thing -- and as I was eating my dinner - he asked if he could have some. Fine.

So by the time I get up to get a piece of my Danish - 3/4 of it are missing from the pan. I know my mom had a piece - but seriously - my brother ate half the pan - and I was left with 2 small pieces. SO I had one and though - Oh I'll have the last of it in the morning. EVERYONE knows my rule about eating the last of something and they don't.

WELL I was wrong - the butt head ate 1/2 of my danish and then the last small piece while I WAS SLEEPING.

What does a girl have to do to enjoy a good pastry?