hula hoops and hampster wheels

So I'll say it. I have a crush on someone & I feel like a school girl for more than one reason. I met Stanley (not his real name) in Kindergarten and we went to school together thru the 4th grade. Then, I went to public middle school instead of staying at the prochial school. We haven't crossed paths since we were 9.

Life passed, and then through the miracles of facebook he found me and we have since had several legenthy conversations online and we can ramble on for hours about serious and not so serious stuff. There are mutual flirtations and we're both single.

So what's the issue? Well we are both recently single - and going through our own break up routines. We're both a little cautious about meeting in person even though we used to play on the same playground 20 years ago. So right now I'm just hopeful that Stan and I can be fantastic friends and after awhile maybe we entertain the idea of dinner date and see what happens. Yes, full blown crush mode.

I love current events and the news and all things political. NPR.org interactive election map brought me great joy.

It's happened - we the American people have voted and invited a democratic back into the White House. Thank goodness.

Our President Elect happens to be the first ever African-American president. Fantastic. A movement of progress, how far we have come as country.

I didn't vote for black or white when I stepped into my polling cubby. No, I voted for the candidates who best represented my political ideals. I saw two colors - Red and Blue (well three technically if you count Nader - but very few will vote for him so bygones -sorry Ralphie).

At work today - I sit next to a woman (Let's call her Iggie) with exceptional grade A ignorance, a blind faith in a bible and religion that has brain washed her beyond repair - so much in fact she refuses to wear pants - even if it's 40 below. I'm sorry but Jesus would want you to wear pants instead of getting frost bite - the climate of the biblical times you read with such volition was not aware or prone to the horrors of the WINDCHILL factor. She irritated me greatly even if I like her as a person, for the most part.


Ignorance: Some hype heard amongst the cubical walls today include a portrait of ignorance and acceptance, both of the election results and of humanity in general.

Iggie:
Obama is a Muslim.
Kristen:
Actually Iggie, he's a christian just like you.
Iggie:
Nope, he's a Muslim.
Kristen:
What's wrong with that - we do have our first Amendment rights you know.
Iggie:
Our country was founded on the premise of a Christian God.
Kristen:
True, but it's our country that fought for religious freedom. And Obama is a Christian, you should be happy.
Iggie:
He's a Muslim Kristen, he's just faking it.
Kristen:
OK Iggie, believe what you want, but it's none of your business who he prays to anyways.


Iggie: He'll never be sworn in as president.

Kristen: He's the president elect, he'll be sworn in. Can't you just accept it. I'd accept McCain as president if he had won.

Iggie: Nope, he was born in Kenya so he can't be sworn in. Iwill never accept it. I have someone bigger than Obama to get me through this... God and Jesus will prevail.
Kristen: He was born in Hawaii, and God and Jesus weren't on the ballot and their foreign policy is a little sketchy. Remember Iggie, you should always vote with your brain and not with a bible.

Iggie: He can't provide a valid birth certificate

Kristen: McCain wasn't born on American soil. Ps. The Associated Press has a story about the validity of his birth certificiate - (emd to Iggie)

Iggie: Yes he was. You can't believe everything on the internet.

Kristen: Nope, he was born on a military base. Iggie, it's the Associated Press- not a email forward. I'll believe the Associated Press over some forward.

Iggie: Fine.

Kristen: Iggie, Why would a white, American, woman who is pregnant - travel in an airplane to Kenya to give birth in a remote village, that's maternity ward probably has dirt floors and drafty walls made out of natural fibers- versus in Hawaii in a hospital with clean disinfected floors and finely crafted structure and an Ocean view?

Iggie: Do your research Kristen.


Kristen: Iggie, don't you think you're being pretty ignorant about this - I mean John McCain - who was your political mavericky hero expressed that everyone needs to come together and that Obama is going to be his president and that you should accept it.

Iggie: He won't be my president, my president and commander in chief is a higher power.

Kristen: Well, that statement is very un-American of you. That dissapoints me Iggie. I have oreos at my desk do you want one?

So I popped onto OKCupid.com awhile back to see what's out there - I'm passively looking through profiles - seeing the other fish in the sea.

Let me tell you, I am not impressed. Why can't normal guys be out there?

The crappy thing about the free okc is that they have this chat thing- and when ever I am passively browsing or taking ridiculous quizzes - someone always wants to have a conversation. A conversation that I do not want to have.

Loser: hi
Me: hi
Loser: how r u?
Me: fine, can you not use those abbreviations they are really annoying to me.
Loser: haha ok
Loser: so you seem like a really open person from your profile.
Me: I guess
Loser: So can I ask some questions?
Me: shoot
Loser: How do you give a blow job - tell me in detail.
Me: I will not share my top secret technique with anyone- it's not up for discussion.
Loser: How big are your breasts and pussy?
Me: I don't measure them. Please stop with this inappropriate sex talk. Are you unable to have a normal conversation?
Loser: Don't you want to f*** me?
Me: Nope
Loser: Why not?
Me: 1. I don't know you. 2. You're acting like a dillweed. 3.I don't have random sex with dillweeds.
me: goodbye
blocking loser.


SO I then continue to browse through a couple profiles -- get accosted by some non english speaking fellow who due to conversation barrier I also block.


Then I see a suggested user. This is someone I know - and I start laughing hysterically.

OKC thinks I would be a great match with drum roll please......my cousin Jake.

So I send him a message - Jake, Sorry Cousin but I'm not into relatives that way. OKC has got it all wrong, we are not from West Virginia!


He replies back and is laughing for multiple reasons - he has confessed that he's been out at the bars and is a little wasted and the ridiculousness of okc's suggestion and his random okc mail from his cousin. The I had to explain what happened with Dave and all of that.

So yeah.

Isn't getting back out there exciting.

Growing up, my mom has always been a little chubby. She's adorable and cute and wears dorky faux denim leggings and yeah she's my mom so I love her.

I never had a mom that wanted me to be a barbie doll - she in fact wouldn't let me play with such self esteem distructors.

But last week - something happened that has never happened before. My mom can now fit into my clothes. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy that she's lost some weight, somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 pounds in the last year. But I'm also then reminded that once upon a time I was smaller and now I've put on a couple pounds.

But in any light she is just so excited that she can now shop in the ladies clothes and not in womens section we devouted a good afternoon to going shopping, buy some new outfits and then she came home and tried on my stuff too. It's like we are teenage sisters. But instead of wearing the latest fashion mistake we both dress in pretty classic standby outfits.

It's just a little weird to ask - Mom do you have my navy pants?

Onward to my sister -- since we have a good 5.5 years between us she thinks all my clothes are old lady clothes -- but just wait - I'm sure when she starts job hunting she'll be stealing my navy pants too. Now sissy and I are about a size difference - but that is always subject to change i.e. similar to that of the polls 1+/1-.

So to head of anyone even thinking about swiping my favorite jeans -- I'm going to go get my mom a pair of real life jeans since it's probably been several decades since she's owned them and they can be her cute butt jeans and she will leave mine alone!