Sooo I love birthdays. I love making a big fuss and getting the perfect gift. Or so I thought.
This year for Dave's birthday -- I was at a loss - I had no idea what to get him.
I googled best boyfriend birthday gifts. I had a couple lame ideas...
1. cologne -- but he already smells so good - ps I love his deodorant more than his cologne. But never the less -- don't fix it if it ain't broke.
2. kitchen crap. i.e. a colander, new toaster, glasses to replace his plastic cups. lameness factor - 10. useful for when I'm cooking dinner and need to strain something 1. ok it's on the veto list.
3. a puppy. cute idea - but it'd be better if he picked the puppy out and gave it to me and then made me move in with him to take care of said creature. preferably small and well behaved along with adorable -- cats are preffered in my book but I've warmed up nicely in our discussions of having a dog in the Wonderland Future that we discuss from time to time.
4. I can paint him a cool picture of a classic car. Who am I kidding I can't paint real things -- I can paint abstract color blobs. And no offense to me - but I wouldn't want one of the only things hanging on his wall to be a crappy ass picture I pretended to paint. Plus - I might have fun doing this - but in the end result would not even be worthy of Country Kitchen art, no refrigerator -- unless it was some mini fridge under the bar - where no can see it refrigerator.
5. crochet him a sweater. again, not going happen - too much time, bad execution of yarn projects that aren't just big rectangles. Plus he's never even used the scarf I made him -- but he has it still - we do use the afghan I made him - it doesn't match his couch but he went out and got a new couch - and I'm sure his thoughts weren't what will match my afghan...
6. bake him peanut butter heart shaped cookies. he loves my peanut butter cookies. but I have not been motivated to bake. alas veto list again.
7. movies. although nice-- also pretty lame.
8. books. although nice-- also pretty lame.
Ahhh! So what in the world do I get the fantastic boyfriend for his 34th birthday?
9. 34 powerballs? nope lame
10. nothing.
But this is the most fabulous result from google:
MANGROOMER Do-It-Yourself Electric Back Hair Shaver
SO what did I get him? Nothing. Well, I made him dinner: Alaskan King Crab and New York Strip Steak, Baked potato, texas toast and then I let him have full reign over the tv.
SO What did we watch. Well, Friday night, we watched a good 35 minutes of Amatures. It's about a bunch of townies making an amature porn. Dave gave up on this attempt of a man-comedy on his own, but I was happy he turned it off. Then on Saturday, we watched a couple episodes of Sunny in Philadelphia and House and the cheesy movie What happens in Vegas. It was a good lazy weekend mostly spent in front of the tv.
For Dave's birthday we went out for breakfast to eat and read the paper. How adorable right? So we sat and read the paper - ate our breakfast, I shared my bacon with him as he didn't have any and I had 5 pieces. Now, I love bacon- but 5 pieces in addition to hasbrowns, eggs and toast is a bit much. So we read the paper and chit chatted over breakfast. I didn't get to do my puzzle but that's ok -
I'm going to pick up a suduko book today or tomorrow so we can do puzzles together. How sick is that?
We lounged around most of the afternoon on Saturday. He took me out for dinner for being so fantastic and not making a huge deal out of his birthday, okay maybe that wasn't the reason - but anyways we went out for dinner and had a Saturday night date. Then I went home cause he had to work overnight last night.
In the Vegas movie, there was bit about putting the toilet seat down, I let him gently know that we can talk about this later since it's his birthday but I think he got the hint, he needs to work on putting it down.
I did sing to him on several occaisons my annoying birthday song. He plugged his ears as expected since my singing voice - well it's not pretty.
So yesterday, Dave had some golf thing for work to attend. He asked me to be his designated driver- I dropped him off at the golf course a little before 9 am. He stated that he should be done around 6 but he would call, and we could go out for a Saturday night date night.
Well I went about my day, got my hair cut and my eyebrows and lip waxed - endured the pain an agony for beauty. Came home - vegged out, took a nap. Fixed my hair from the nap -- put on make up and looked super cute for date night.
6: no call, no text.
7: no call, no text.
7:15 I text him inquiring on his best guess for time -- they are eating dinner right now.
I'm slightly irritated at this time, but make a bowl of nacho cheese fiesta soup and eat it since I won't be going out to dinner for date night. But maybe we can catch a late movie.
8:00 Text received - almost done
8:15 I head out the door pull out of the drive way, get around the corner and get another text.
8:16 Text reads something to the effect that there is a benifit and it will be awhile.
9:00 Figure that it will be over with by 9:30 and I'm 20 minutes away so I leave my house.
9:15 Sitting in dark almost empty golf course parking lot, text Dave to tell him I am here when he's done.
9:20 Receive text that he's not there - he's downtown Minneapolis. A good half hour from this dark secluded parking lot in the midst of cornfields.
9:21 Leaving the golf course and calling Dave.
9:21-9:30 Conversation filled with his drunken apologies. I'm irritated, sober and try to be the fantastic girlfriend I am - I offer to pick his drunk ass up but he can't call after 11.
9:45 Arrive at the gas station to get essential pissed off goodies - i.e. diet coke and cigarettes.
10:00 arrive home, watch tv - get fuming mad and ready for bed, feel disappointed and irritated and chaulk it up to stupid boyfirend behavior.
11:00 In bed, retainer in mouth, head on pillow, cat snuggled with me watching SNL.
11:01 Receive text: Do you want to meet me at my house?
11:02 Receive text: Cause if you're not coming over I'll stay at my friend place.
11:03 Sent text: I'll come over - but I'm not putting clothes on I'm in my jammies.
11:04 Yes, I do believe this is the first every booty call from the boyfriend. I'll humor him but he's not getting any tonight.
11:05 Call dave. no answer
11:05 Text dave - Do you want me to come over?
11:06 Receive call - I got a ride home are you coming over?
11:07 yes, I'm coming over, I'll see you in 30 minutes, are you going to be passed out when I get there? "No"
11:10 In my car pulling out of the driveway, receive call from Dave aka Drunkaroo who has been drinking now since 9:30 am. Are you coming over? Yes, I'm in the car - Oh well I just got a text -- I sent that to you before you called earlier. Oh ok - I want you to come over. Ok I'm on my way.
11:45ish Arrive at dave's clad in my pink snow flake fleece pants and wsu t-shirt and green hoodie -- all items pretty much a fashion no no - and when put together I look hideous. My face has been washed and my hair is now a disaster so much for cute date night.
12:00 We're in bed cuddling and he's telling me about his day and how he won an XYZ tee shirt and pocket knife. I proclaim that's amazing since the best thing I get is a safety packet in June for safety month.
12:30 He's still apologizing and smells of alcohol and his deoderant has given out on him. So pleasant. But we make up from our first little fight.
7:00 am He wants to snugggle and make out & be romantic on a Sunday morning.
I mumble to him that if he wakes me up - I'm going to be up and I will make it miserable for him to try and sleep. He persists. We snuggle and fall back asleep.
8:30 He wants to snugggle and make out & be romantic on a Sunday morning.
I mumble to him that if he wakes me up - I'm going to be up and I will make it miserable for him to try and sleep. He persists. We snuggle and fall back asleep.
11:00 I wake up - I know a miracle that I was able to go back to sleep. Tickle fights and the idea of going to lunch is tossed around.
11:30 I get out of bed - get dressed in the clothes I wore on Friday - can't very well go out in the world wearing snow flake pajama pants.
11:31 Look in the mirror and see the disaster that is my hair complete with the 20 products my hair chick used to make me fantastically beautiful - now looks like small animals have taken refuge in my hair. Shower is needed.
12:10 We are both showered - I'm dressed and Dave is in his robe and he wants me to go out an get sandwhiches... he has to call his insurance adjusters for some issue - fine - I go to subway get us our sandwhiches. Have a horrible experience at subway that is going to be a completely separate post.
12:40 I get back - we eat our subs and then he puts on sports so we both take a nap on the couch.
4:00 I get up from the nap - get a diet coke, gather my things tell Dave I have to go do laundry and go home to get ready for the week. He gets up gives me a hug and kiss goodbye.
