hula hoops and hampster wheels

I have a friend let's call her -- Camille. Well Camille has a wonderful family - 3 kids, loving husband - a nice home. But something was missing for Camille and she cheated on her husband. Not just once -- not just with one man -- but with several men and on several occasions. In her guilt after realizing that she does indeed love her husband -- and doesn't want her marriage to be based on a lie -- she decided to tell him. She has realized that she has made this fatal flaw -- and the only way she could move past it was to tell him and face the reprecutions of her actions.

He decided to go on vacation -- alone. To think and contemplate this news. He returned yesterday from his brief hiatus and I'm not sure of the outcome. Although I want my friend to be happy and have her marriage succeed -- I don't condone her affairs. I can't -- maybe cause I'm so guilt ridden over every mistake I make -- and having an affair would be the easiest avoidable mistake there is -- maybe I believe too much in love --- granted I've never been married, never lived with a partner -- so maybe I don't know squat diddly nothing about this -- but I know that if you love someone -- you should want to work out whatever it is that might be missing - and going to greener pastures to look for the missing piece although an easy solution -- does not make it the right solution. Maybe I'm so upset over this because -- I can't imagine how anyone would be able to hurt the person you love this way-- you never get away from it -- you either have to admit to the infidelity or live with it - and both would be so difficult. Unless there is no love behind this and the marriage is a facade? I just don't know about that either -- I think they really love each other -- or once did -- but she mentioned that she got the 7 year itch.

I don't know if I can buy into that -- My parents were together for 30 years -- my grandparents together for 60, my great aunt and uncle -- 60+ I'm sure they all had difficult times but they seemed to work through them - and took their vows seriously -- til death do they part -- in sickness and in health -- in shitty times and not so shitty times. Why can't people just remember this?

Then I also try to see things from Phillip's point of view --how will he be able to trust her -- will he want an eye for an eye - and cheat on Camille? Will he hold this against her forever or will he be able to forgive her?

I know I would be able to forgive Dave if he cheated on me, but I don't think I'd be able to forget and it would take ages for me to reach the forgiveness point -- but I have infinite trust in him because I love him, and I'm sure he has the same trust in me. So why would someone even consider ruining this trust trying to fulfill and orgasmic need? I just don't get it --

So It looks like I'm moving to Canada -- don't fret, what I mean is that I'm moving into the Canadian region at work -- so I'll get a cube on the dark side of the office -- get to brush up on my French and leave Texas behind.

I'm excited and apprehensive about the change -- but there is no use in fighting it- they'll just move me if they want to move me.

So wish me luck!

Dear Diary,

Weight: 146 -- ugh, the Dr. wants me at 106 - I'd be happy at 116-126
Drinks: 0 alcholic, 10 cans of diet coke...
Smoking: yes, but less -- quit day set for Friday
Today's Highlight: Not having the worst hair day in the last 2 decades
Today's Low Light: I have gas, really bad gas.
Time at the gym: 35 minutes
Excuse thought of to avoid said gym: NA, Miss Swessi had to make me go though...
Issues and Concerns: The weather forecast isn't favorable for the zoo date planned for this weekend.
Funny Moment of the Day: Me in sweatpants -- out in public is pretty funny, but getting on the eliptical machine and getting worn out on level one, was sad funny.
Mushy Lovey Dovey Moment: Dave encouraging and wishing me luck via text on the job I applied for yesterday, and as of now, no one else has applied.
Food Du Jour: Breakfast: diet coke, 5 twizzlers Mid Morning Snack: 1/2 king size bag of M&Ms, Lunch: Leann Chins -- chin dynasty: 1/2 peking chicken, 1/2 seasme chicken, vegetable fried rice, 2 cream puffs, regular cherry pepsi, fortune cookie, dinner: triple chocolate cake & diet coke
Avoiding: putting laundry away
Looking forward to: eating the chocolate cake -- don't worry I won't go Cake on y'all.

Granted, I hate being the last to know- but sometimes it's hard to be in the loop and not be able to say anything.

For example, someone at work- who is a temp, had his last day yesterday --- but he was in the dark as the temp agency was going to inform him after 5. I knew because one of my good friends is taking over his region and I was to train her on Texas lien law and give her the scoop on the area she will be moving into on Monday. Now, I understand that temps are different that regular employees -- but he's been temping here since September. He just had a couple issues with getting to work on time... and taking extra long lunches... and other issues.

I also know that someone else is considering putting in their notice --- but as nothing is official - I don't know anything.

Just like I don't know that someone else is having an extra marital affair(s) and someone else is interested in becoming a swinger, that someone else is gay and that someone else is a dirty old man. Someone else likes pain during sex. See these are the things I may or may not know to protect the innocent some features have been altercated.

So I'm still growing out the hair --- this weekend however I got a haircut, it'd been 8 weeks - I was on the brink of insanity! -- The thing is -- I will never get it to look like it did when I left the beauty chair -- no I can try all I want to repeat the process and it will always look just eh --- so I got it cut in an inverted bob -- well sort of, a version of it - so I can grown my hair out with out looking like I want to have a mullet- it was bad... and she straightened it and it looked super cute all piecy and straight and yesterday after my nap --- i was playing with it -- trying to undo my nap hair, and yeah -- no such luck. Then I tried again this morning after my shower - AGAIN no such lluck no cute and piecy striaght hair -- nope i have one of two options at this point --- puffy wrinkles and crunchy crinkles. If I just let it be as nature inteded -- it's a little poofy, and wavy --- if i try to make it messy it just looks crinkled and it feels gross -- I'm going to try and curl it -- let's just hope I don't burn myself. I really just want to get to the pont tail stage of it all --- I"m at the half up stage --- and it'll be awhile now...