hula hoops and hampster wheels

So, today has been a lame day. Pretty relaxing but lame. I've spent way too much time spent online. I've wasted a couple hours reading random blogs. I've come to a conclusion.

If I am ever feeling hormonal or sappy I should just read a bad mom blog. Now, on my blog roll I have included some entertaining blogs that might be written by moms - however they don't turn their blog into a cyber fridge to post every gurgle, crappy picture, and or dirty diaper report about their child on the ever magnificant www.

This is excellent birth control, reading about poop and barf and all the other gross stuff. But then their are the cutsie stories that get me all baby happy and I have to sing my no - babies mantra.

Yes, I realize this might sound cold, or cruel -- but although your life changes once you enter the mama hood it doesn't take over your whole identity, or does it? I'd like to think I'd be a real person too after having babies (9 year plan) (haha)


Aside from mom blogs there are alot of green blogs. Really? You could have saved 100 feet a rainforrest sending crappy flowers to all your friends on facebook and have a cute virtual garden by the time you created and made all those greenie posts. I'm not green but I do love the little green patch - I do it for the flowers not the earth. I'm too lazy to be green. I seperate my cans from the trash but that's about it.

So anyways, after reading all of the blogs I popped in on today - I'll apologize if my content is ever lacking and or disappointing. But sometimes life is lame and uneventful like a Sunday afternoon and I feel the need to share my lameness in hope that something less lame comes around.

Kids are cute and adorable -- but I am in no ready to be a mommy.



1. I like to sleep through the night. I can't imagine getting up every time a baby cried or needed a feeding, or when they are bigger and have nightmares or can't sleep. I fall asleep and like to stay that way.



2. I think bodily fluids are gross. I almost gag when I see someone else throw up -- or faint at the sight of blood. I know spit up, pee, poo, snot, drool and come with the baby territory but I frankly don't want to deal with the icky stuff.



3. I like alone time.



4. I like only being responsible for me -- If I f-up I live with it -- and it usually doesn't effect anyone else.



5. I have no idea how I will present morals without using the bible.

6. I have a million other issues -- but one day maybe I'll be able to move past them -- until then- no babies.

So Dave and I were invited to a bbq this weekend -- and we went. My friend Heather just had twins this fall and I haven't been out to see them. And my other friend Josie and her husband have 3 children. So it was a bring your meat and something to share type poot luck bbq extravaganza. We were fashionably late -- which was fine. We chatted and visited out on the deck -- at dinner. I held babies -- it was fun. After a couple hours though - of holding babies and playing with toddlers and a 7 year old ... it was time - time to go. Dave and I had a movie to catch.

On the way to the movie we discussed babies -- and we are both a o k with not being parents at the present time. Then we discussed the possibility of a pet. I suggested a cat -- cause I love kitties! But that was quickly veto'd as Dave has allergies and a dislike of cats. So ok a dog -- but a cute one. I like jack russel terriers and Enzo dogs -- not sure exactly what an Enzo dog is... but it's a dog like the one we dog sit. He's like a lab -- and some "duck fetching" brand -- but technically he's a mut -- but I love him -- and I'm not a huge dog person. I also like german shepperds and springer spaniels -- they were my childhood dogs -- and he is alergic -- so we are talking about dogs with less shedding -- and he likes bulldogs... thinks they are adorable. I think they drool to much -- but maybe he likes that? Maybe I should drool on his pillow more... oh wait I already do that.

So I won't include all the details -- since we have a trip to Chicago coming up and I need to have a good story to tell. But it was worse than expected and I wish I would have had the huztpah to just RSVP -- I'm busy, and send a gift card.

PS. I need a car with cruise control - my poor ankle was swollen last night.Or maybe I'm growing a cankle? The judge and jury are still out on that.

Pss. The baby is cute, and gross -- at the same time. I did hold and coo at the baby and I got to feed it and it didn't puke on me, the baby had the best manners out of the three of them -- shocking but true,

Psss. One thing is for certain --- I am not gun-ho for having a baby and this little trip did prove to be excellent form of birth control. I like the simple things in life -- sleeping through the night, not having to wear a badge of vomit on my shirt, the only butt I need to wipe is my own, yep -- the simple things in life.

Pssss. Also -- her boyfriend is pretty much an A hole and I think that he will be a horrible father and or human being. His name is Chris -- let's just be glad it isn't Kris like that dude from the camping adventure, but yeah -- his braniac idea - was to take the baby new born on a road trip to Boston in the coming weeks - so he could go to a baseball game at Fenway -- cause the tickets on ebay were only $1. Does he understand the premise of ebay?

If you thought she was emotional in the past -- just multiply that by 100 -- yep I should have just mailed a gift card. PS. The long drive, the annoyance of Kate, allcombined drove me to start smoking again -- so I get to start quitting all over again tommorrow. Wish me luck.

So since my readership is limited- Kate had her baby early, and you know me, I'm not one to start a prayer wheel - but do what you feel you are inclinded to do and keep her and baby Nicholas in your thoughts.

The details :

Friday, March 14th. 2008 - 9:01 pm Kate had an emergency c-section and her baby Nicholas Allen was born in to this world at 2lbs - 15 3/4 inches. Kate is tired from the surgery and being in the hospital all week - the baby is quite small, but doing well with all things considered.

If you have any words you'd like passed on - I'm attending the baby shower the first weekend in April and would be happy to be the messenger.






Now, I'll be honest -- I wasn't excited to go to the shower- I was trying to think of a way out of it actually - but I got suckered in - when everyone was healthy and the baby was still inside Kate's buddah. Now -- I'll be extra honest and say - I'm not so thrilled about going to the shower becuase, I"ll be staying with Kate and her fiance/man a la mancha and I know we'll be in the hospital the whole weekend -- and you know what is in the hospital -- sick people, dead people and of course the funny smells. I'm just not a fan of hospitals- I'm not a fan of baby showers - - but alas, I can not get out of going, and at this point- I'm not allowed to make up an excuse to get out of it, because I'm not a horrible person - and I do wish Kate and baby Nicholas a speedy recovery -- but I'm going to have to put my big girl face on and deal with the hospital, the extra emotions of Kate (and those who know her know what I mean.) and of course going to a family gathering and having to pin the poo on the diaper will be more than my normal lame weekend at home watching tv and feeding my flufffriend.

So my ex-boyfriend, the one who had an ex-wife and a baby on the way with another chickadee, he's having another baby -- or his new girlfriend is having a baby -- He's thrilled - maybe I don't get it cause I don't think having a baby is something thrilling especially given his 1st child is less than a year old. I'm just thankful I got out of that mess before the super sperm got me in the unsavory predicament.

I'm also reminded daily of this person in the office who shall remain nameless who has two illegitimate children both resulted from some drunken stopper of a one night stand. Why can't the stupid people use birth control?

I am very happy for my normal married friends who have embraced babies into their families -- I'm just bitter cause now your time entertaining me has dwindled.

Oh well - onward.

I'm addicted to baby names -- I don't want to be parent or have a bundle of joy for quite some time- -- but I waste way to much time on babynames.com.
Right now my favorite names include: the middle names are interchangeable... maybe it's time for a new pet, haha. Actually - I'm working on my first novel... but I can't make up my mind on the main characters name. Right now, I'm calling her Gladys -- but I just don't see it sticking.
Jackson David
Nathaniel Keith
Kendra Nicole
Audra Estelle
Thisbe Suzette
Fletcher Quentin
Delaney Alexandra
Joshua David
Finley Kathleen
Mitchell Bradford
Bennett Henry
Spencer James