So I'm going to say this -- the Rules are lame and needed to be broken.
I broke down and called Dave yesterday because I had fantastic news.
I'm thinking The Rules apply to only certain people. Or can only be do-able by certain people. I am not one of them. I'm impatient, in love and currently the rules provide me with no real benifit - this was determined after 24 hours of thinking about participating in the rules and then giving up on them completly.
#1) Southerners -- don't ask me why but the Rules are a little step back to the time of Gone With the Wind mixed in with re-run scandals and drama from Dallas.
#2) Delicate creatures -- I'm not delicate-- I'm a creature unlike any other because I can be rude and blunt. I swear and pass gas, and urinate with out abandon anywhere I need to, including the great wide yonder and I'm not going to have a hissy fit if I'm amongst nature and need to drip dry.
#3) Must have the following:
Long flowing hair -- lots of hair flipping and playing with hair tips to seduce in the book. Short to medium frizzy, wavy or poofy hair is no where mentioned or described on how to make it look appealing let alone seductive.
Manicured fingernails: I think the world should feel blessed if I paint them with clear polish. I had pretty fingernails -- but seriously it's not worth the time, money or destruction to my natural nail to have arcylics on and well I'm still bite them when I'm stressed out.
Pedicured feet: My toenails are slivers and although I've tried the press on toe nails-- I think Dave would be slightly disturbed if one popped off while he was tormenting me by tickling my feet -- and frankly that's one rule I'll follow: Do not gross out the boyfriend with toenails falling off in a tickle fight.
High heels: I'm practically falling and tripping over my feet and or shoes when I wear flats. High heels although super adorable, and I've learned how to walk in them -- always result in a) sore feet b) blisters c) swollen or spraigned ankles. I've given up -- I need flats and that's that. I might consider a wedge but nothing like the fun flirty shoes I once wore. Unless of course New Balance or Puma branch out to the high heel market then I might consider but I"m pretty sure they'd be f-ugly.
Lipstick: Plenty of teasing tips with lipstick - but frankly I feel slightly whorish while wearing it, not sure what it is - I'm fine with every other make up product but for my lips I prefer a clear gloss or my all time favorite grape chapstick, or cherry if I can't find the grape one or it went through the wash -- knock on wood.
What are my rules then:
1.
I try not to talk about my period, bloatedness, breast tenderness, gyno appointments, and or anything else medically or biologically affiliated with pretty parts with my love nugget - unless need be for obvious reasons.
2.
I try to mute my burps so they are not the buxom Kristen burps you might be familiar with - they are instead dainty -- but Dave is still alarmed by a 1 on the richter scale of burps. So they are smaller cuter and sometimes funny. But no longer the alphabet or loud booming burps they once were. I've tried - but I physically can not burp a big one in front of him.
Same with farts -- I'll try to excuse myself - but after eating a burito or any other gas inducing foods -- they are bound to happen - so I wait until he fluffs first and then try to be quiet and non-deadly. I will my fluffer farts to be delicate and smell like an ocean breaze. haha- I'm not very skilled at willing them this way - but I will one day percivere.
3. We share the tab -- we don't follow any sort of rhyme or reason but we each take turns. Same with driving. Yes, he still remembers my doors most of the time. I'm not the queen of England so I can't expect that he should get them every time but he's pretty good about it.
4. I do nice things for him and he does nice things for me. i.e. I do the dishes, he remembers to bring up a towel for me at night so when I get up before him I don't have to stumble downstairs and get one in the morning. cute and dorky tenderness, no where mentioned in the rules book...
5. We are open and honest about stuff -- I even have a special "disapproving look" face that he is an expert at identifying.
So my rule is just to be me and not play ridiculous games otherwise I might come off as a weirdo and I'm already a freak of nature.
This is a brief list of the rules from Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's book titled The Rules:
#1: Be a creature unlike any other: Ok I get that, be confident, alluring etc. I more like a wackadoo but I guess that works - I'm unlike any other right?
#2: Don't talk to a man first (Don't ask him to dance). Ok the speak when spoken to - a little dated and no worries on the dancing part -- this body doesn't dance, maybe it's part of being a creature unlike any other.
#3: Don't stare at Men or Talk to Much. OK I won't look longingly in his eyes and I'll put the babbling brook that is my mouth in check.
#4: Don't meet him halfway or go dutch on a date. Well I normally go to his place- - what am I supposed to do - drive an hour and fifteen minutes home and wait for him to pick me up? That's ridiculous we wouldn't get to dinner until my body was feeding off itself -- maybe that would be the way to go then?
#5: Don't call him and rarely return his calls. I get the don't call him part -- make him call you, wait in misery for the call but not to call him back isn't that rude?
#6: Always end the phone call first. I'm bad at this - I go on and on sometimes. But I guess I can practice this one.
#7: Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday. Shit, I can barely even get a Saturday night date now - especially during classic car show season. But ok -- so Dave has until tonight to a) call me b) make plans for Saturday. grr. I'm going to have another boring weekend.
#8: Fill up your time before the date. I'm past the pretty stage but I guess I could try a little harder to be cute before a date and that would fill up the time.
#9: Always end the date first. Our dates usually end when we get up and go to work in the morning.
#10: Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for Valentines or your birthday- phew, he's safe he did a great job with both Valentines and Birthday presents.
#11: Don't see him more than once or twice a week. Umm that's the current problem?
#12: No more than casual kissing on the first date. Well we were good kids, I don't think we kissed until the third date.
#13: Don't rush into sex -- well it's happened, don't be alarmed and no it's not going to be given up for the sake of the rules... I need it too much.
#14: Don't tell him what to do. I'll ask nicely and say please.
#15: Let him take the lead. Yep, that's the plan. It usually results in watching tv and cooking for him. Some lead...
#16: Don't expect a man to change or try to change him. Ok, but seriously- if I'm washing the dishes he could at least rinse them.
#17: Don't open up to fast: I'm open, but it's happened over time.
#18: Be honest but Mysterious. Grr these sound like head games... I'm not that good at head games, I'm better at board games.
#19: Don't live with a man - or leave your things at his place. What? That's the goal. Plus, I need certain things at his house for getting ready in the morning.
#20: Don't date a married man. ok. not an issue.
So that's the plan... I don't think I'll last 2 days but that's the plan.
SO it was decided that we would celebrate Labor day weekend as anniversary weekend.
I forgot there was 31 days in August so I told Dave weeks ago to pick a day between 21-30. He picked the 31st. So then it was said that I expected two cards then 1 for the 30 and one for the 1st -- just teasing, but really not... We never really had a day when we it was decided what we are. He wanted to go by the first date which is cute - but has already passed and I explained to him that was the day I gave you your watch with the new battery as clocks and watches are tradition for 1 year anniversaries -- ok I left the last part out as to not freak him out. So technically out anniversary is August 6th.
I told him let's not make a big production out of it. Wrong thing to say.
I picked him up a cute card and that bacon chocolate bar. Along with fixings for beef stroganauf and breakfast. It was decided that we would spend the day together Sunday and Monday.
So I got up. Got ready, went to the store ran some errands. Boring Sunday morning crap. Waiting for the phone to ring. I read a book -- which I'll go into more later. 12, no phone call. 1 no phone call, 2, I'm pissed off and no phone call, 3I'm irritated and then it dawns on me -- maybe he's out shopping? quarter to 4 he calls --- There will be no wedding this weekend -- that was the delay, his friend Randy's son was planning on having some sort of shit gun wedding this weekend in Vegas -- and Dave agreed to watch the dog if he needed to leave town. So what's the plan I ask? He said it's up to me -- I hate this - fine if we are going to dinner after work - but jiminey crickets woo me once in awhile it's really not that hard!
SO maybe I was pmsing, mad about wasting a day sitting around waiting for love nugget to call me, and just a little moody in general.
So I go over there -- he's not hungry yet. So we watch bad tv -- hang out on the couch - I give him his card and chocolate bar. He doesn't have a card for me. Now, I know what you are thinking - who cares. I care, I love cards. I can't help it. I'm not asking him to write me a love letter every day of the week - I'm not even expecting a special message , just a nice card - and him signing his name.
So I run to the store pick up a couple things. In the meantime - he does his dishes. I make dinner -- while he watches tv. But he's checking in on me and my progress during dinner - kissing me on the forehead, tickling me etc. so now I'm less mad. We eat, watch tv toddle off to bed ...
We get up the following morning - lay in bed and talk for awhile. I get up and start making breakfast - eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, english muffins. Excited to spend a whole day being lazy with him. No longer irritated, just chalking it up to him being a man and clueless and me being slightly hormonal and expecting him to be a mind reader. But mind you I did text him to tell him I found a funny treat for him. That should have been a clue to at least have a card. oh well.
After breakfast, we shower, talk about politics, and then he proclaims it's time to go -- go where? Well, I can tell you -- or it can be a surprise. I'll take the surprise.
So we are on the way to the unknown, I start guessing and he says "maybe" to everything. Then he proclaims we are going to a car show. I fake pout as I usually do. But we end up at the Minnesota Zoo.
I've been wanting to go -- since it had been forever since I've been but I wanted to have a camera with me -- but no such luck. So we walk the course of the Zoo looking at everything, trying to avoid the bad smelling places. We go everywhere except the Barn yard animals. It was fun - the annoying parents and children were minimal. It was a good time.
We leave and head back -- I suggest going to cold stone for ice cream, he suggests dairy queen since it's lighter. I rarely crave ice cream so ok fine dairy queen works. We head home, eat our ice cream and then I proclaim it's nap time. I take a nap on the couch - he moves to his chair, watches some tv. I get up about an hour later -- he moves to the couch to take his nap and I move to the chair.
Then we talk about his lack of card for said anniversary. He said we agreed not to make a big deal about it - so I pouted and said yes, that's true but you know I love cards. Remember the Valentines episode, he neglected to get me a card then too... So I say well a card and flowers or candies would have been nice.
I say I'm going to get going - I have laundry and all sorts of junk to take care of, inquire when would be good this week to get together. Maybe Thursday, I request a regular date night like Friday or Saturday - he doesn't have any plans yet so most likely. I head home. But first he hugs me and tells me he's an anaconda then fluffs my hair and tells me he's a bat. Then kisses me good bye.
SO now, onto the book I read while I was waiting for him...
I read "The Rules" some of which is completely unreasonable but some is worth a try -- I don't know how successful I'll be playing the rules now that we've been together for year but I'm going to give it a shot. I'll post a separate post going into detail about the rules...
Labels: dave
So I live with my family -- but when I lived with roommates I had a great time - sure we had fights over the dishes - or my shoulder was soggy from a particular crier. But overall I was blessed with good roommates. Sure I have my favorites and my least favorite but overall I was able to live with everyone just fine. No murders took place at any of the places I resided and all things friendships were in place at the end of the lease.
My sister however -- has had some issues.
She's in her final year at school and she's had some humdinger roommates.
#1: Blooming Prairie girl - I don't remember the name she had but I remember the town she lived in, selective memory at it's finest. She built a fort in the dorm room and hid all of her belongings in said fort and would go home (less than an hour away) for weeks at a time and completely ignore my sister. She eventually dropped out.
#2: Her friend Franny and her lived together or 2 years. They've known eachother since highschool and the first year went ok, but the second year ended badly when Franny made friends with Sunnie and Daisy the cheerful girls they were... the three of them ignored my sister for the last 4 months of livign together and didn't tell her that they were moving out at the end of the lease. They just up and moved.
Obviously I'm biased for my sister -- I've lived with her. I know she has her moments- we shared a room for a number of years but in general she's a great roommate -- a little bit of a neat freak - but overall she's just has pms moments like the rest of us and she just happens to like everything in a certain place... she got made when the spice rack wasn't in the correct order when she went to make cookies, maybe she had a moment and ticked someone off - but seriously who can hold a grudge over an out burst over a spice rack ( the following example is only used as an imaginitive illustration and no spices were harmed and or out of order to the best of my knowlege.)
#3 She just acquired some new roommates a couple weeks ago. One girl is from Oklahoma and from what Peewee (my adorable sissy) said, she's quite the charachter. She has a long distance boyfriend. She doesn't go to school. She shows Peewee all of her groceries. She has a lisp. Her sister lives in the apartment building adjacent to the one my sister and Annie Oakley (Oklahoma girl, not even sure where the really Annie was from but I had a moment of the word association going on in my head, apologies for any inacuracies) but here is the kicker -- she brought her dolls with her to her apartment. She has a collection of China dolls and she has them on display in her bedroom.
Now, I have some china dolls, they are cute and pretty and loved them to death when I was 9. Now they are with my sister's china dolls on top of the piano, down stairs with various other knick knacks...
Just have patience my dear sissy, have some patients.
Labels: roommates
