hula hoops and hampster wheels

So being single for Valentine's is the most exciting thing in the world- but thank goodness it's on a Saturday so I have the option to sit all day in my pajamas and eat oreos and doritos without abandon and no one is any the wiser.

Last years Valentine's with Dave I was a emotional basket case , must have been ovulating or something. 08

The year before that was Valentine's with Matt, I was on the verge of breaking up with him and so that wasn't that much fun either. 07

The year before that I think I was single and my mom and dad bought me a box of chocolates.
06

So this year - I'll have to plan a great anti-valentines day outing or something ... any ideas?

So I had a couple dates this weekend - 2nd dates with Matt and Jim.

Matt is officially out of the question. He's may have a great job but he's stuck in this post college drunken stooper - and he thinks going dutch is the way to go - and I think this is tacky. He'd be ok for a buddy to hang out with but he's Super City when I am obviously Super Not-So-City

Jim has not been eliminated from the island. He's funny or laughs when it is appropriatly funny- he demonstrated great sense of direction when we had to switch from plan a to completely unplanned plan b. He's the nice guy - that probably hasn't dated that much because he's a little shy- date three is planned for sometime this week. He's actually quite sweet and no delicate hands and gives good hugs- not the paper wings hugs. And I must confess I must be a little sweet on him or completly done with online dating since I've given up searching for new victims on the dating parade. We'll see. I've set myself up for disappointment before - so I'm just going to hold back - and see what happens.


Ok so more to report next week.

So I'm back swimming in the dating pool officially now and have a couple dates to report on.

The date with Jeff. Jeff is a nice guy, he's funny and smart. However he has been married before and has two kids. This is not a deal breaker - but it does complicate things.
We agreed to meet for dinner at one of my favorite "nostalgic things hanging on the wall" places.

There was a little problem however, there was a snow storm so It took Jeff a little longer to get ther than he origanally anticipated. He did however call and text location updates with pretty accurate ETAs.

Conversation went well, dinner was over and so we agreed to go have a cup of coffee and play cards. He had been bragging that he was a cribbage master and that he was going to kick my butt so I was looking forward to the challenge. His picture was a little inaccurate. He's balding, and has delicate looking hands and an odd shape about him. Think, average middle and skinny limbs.

So we the game begun. He didn't really know how to play. He's played before but we had to play in lesson format with me counting and showing him how to peg and in the end I obviously won.

We finished a couple games. And decided we should part ways. We hugged. He called to make sure I made it home okay and we ended up talking for a couple hours on the phone.

So it didn't work out with Jeff romantically but we continue to be facebook friends.


A date with Matt, we exchanged a couple emails and decided it was time to meet. We met for drinks - and that led to dinner. We had plenty of things to talk about and he is very attractive and smart and funny, manly hands. I even broke the usual Kristen rule and we went dutch. I normally think going dutch is tacky but somehow it was normal. Things went well at the end of the date. Our 2nd is tentativly scheduled for Friday night.


A date with a different Matt. He's from a small town in Iowa. So we met in St.Peter, MN for lunch. We had been talking for quite sometime - and somepeople are just better online or on the the phone vs. in person.

We met at this dive place, which I like and all he could do was complain, complain complain. Ok so it's not a fancy place - calm down and have fun. He looks - well he was wearing a crappy walmart sweater - and jeans and looked very Iowaesque. He was both trying to be cocky and know-it-all and at the same time came off as really insecure. His table manners were attrocious. Conversation was forced and I was pretty certain that he was a douche bag in the forst 20 minutes of meeting him in person. So I was ready to leave after that but the Minnesota girl in me is too nice to say so. So we went to this coffee place to play trivia pursuit and that was equally unenjoyable. I taught him how to play cribbage and then I was done. But he wanted to continue on with the date. Ok there is nothing to do in St. Peter after 4 pm so we went to the very sophisticated Makato... to go to a movie.

We go to see InkHeart. I want to see the Clint Eastwood movie but I don't want it to be ruined by going with this guy so I pick the movie I know nothing about and fits into the proper time slot. We walk around the mall for a little bit then go to the movie.

In the theatre, I was taking off my coat and getting as comfortable as I can get - when I must have shifted in my seat -- Matt then took this as I want his arm around me. In addition to his unwelcome arm around me - he is also clamping on my shoulder, super grip style. Grr. After sometime - I decide that I need to remove his arm from my body and be a big girl and hold his hand. He plays with my hand. Like a 10 year old holding his first girlfriends hand. All the tracing of my fingers and then kissing my hand. PS. He has delicate woman hands so I'm grossed out more than you know at this point. So I say, my arm has fallen asleep. I pull it away and shift away from him. He puts his arm around me and clamps down pulling my toward him. "Come over here" is what he says- He then asks "So you like me huh?" Um hell no. But the nice girl that I am says a shy maybe afraid he will go psycho. Now he's pulling my into his chest and I"m awkwardly cramped and have the arm redt digging into my ribs - but it would have been bad form to get up and switch seats.

The movie was ok - should of been a rental. We leave the theatre go to the bathroom so I can have cold wet hands and deter him from any hand holding. He drops me off at my sisters place and gets out of the car and hugs me good night -- it's not a normal hug as he did not compensate for my height -I was basically face first into his chest. Did I mention that he smelled like my brother - and looked like my friend Geoff from highschool. Alas - nothing but this good blog entry came out of the date with Matt from Iowa.

A date with Jim. Jim and I met at a metro midpoint between our offices and homes. We had great conversation and laughed a lot over a great burger and coke. Finished eachothers sentences etc. We have our 2nd date scheduled for this week. He has nice hands too.

So I have this friend/former roommate from college who happens to be a new mother. And we talk on the phone from time to time. Let's call her Amelia



Today we had a conversation to play catch up - She's living in her new apartment with her boyfriend, Dick who I think is kind of a jerk, self centered,etc. I've only met him once and the weekend I stayed with them in Milwaukee. He was moody and crabby - and this can be understandable as this was the 1st week their baby came home from the hospital. Ok so maybe he's grown up a little bit and put on his big boy hat? Noooo.



I feel bad for Amelia . I mean - she's with this guy - who I'm sure has endearing qualities - but as far as I can see he's just an a-hole.



They are new parents and he is still satisfying all of his wants before his child's needs. Road trips with the guys, a motorcycle, a new car they can't afford, and he hasn't proposed to Amelia. He says he's saving up for the perfect ring and then they will start saving for the dream wedding.



*side bar*

Now recently Ava posted about how she's downsized her dream ring - which is shocking. But really impressive. And I agree, I mean it's not about the ring, yes they are pretty to look at - but when it comes down to it - it's a marriage that you want in the end - not a pretty bauble.
Bonus points if you get both - but by no means should a big fancy ring be a requirement. Amerlia I'm afraid is still Coo-Coo for Karats. I've never been a big wedding person but again if that's your dream - so be it - but again not about the wedding, it's about the marriage.

*end sidebar*

So maybe this is just me - but if you are living with your boyfriend for years and years and you have a baby - complete with two baby showers. Can you still have the big traditional church wedding filling pews upon pews with hundreds of guests?

I mean, I get - it's the symbolic begining of your lives together forever amen - but your lives together have already started - family has started. Maybe I'm out of touch, or too much a realist but isn't it a lot of time, effort and money to put into a 1 day long celebration and party. (i.e. college fund for the kid or perhaps a down payment on a house?) I'm not saying they can't have a church wedding - I'm saying that maybe they should look at something smaller - more intimate and not just a meal in exchange for presents? Ok maybe that was mean or maybe I'm just incapable of being frivoulous.