SO Camille at work confessed that now that her husband knows about her infidelities - and still wants to be with her, she now has the itch more than ever to be unfaithful.
I scold her and try to deter her from being a grade a bitch of a wife. Somehow, I think this will have no effect.
Is it true: Once a cheater always a scumbag?
I want to believe in the good in everyone - yes, I know how naive and pathetic.
But I really think that she will cheat again. I wish she just leave him then and just go about her unfulfilled fantasies.
Marriage isn't a prison - it's a choice and place to grow with someone - now granted people will often grow apart or move on to greener pastures and I have no idea what marriage is like since I'm not the cool yet. But I know that marriage sucks sometimes -- people get married and there are issues and problems and life shit that gets in the way of the marital bliss phenomenon. That's why we have shows like Desperate Housewives... ha.
A little bit more about Camille, this is her second marriage -- the first one from what I gather was a bad fit and she left the scum bag. Then her and #2 got married after a brief courtship - 6 months or something. A little risky but it's worked for others. Now they have the rug rat crew and cat and some how all that they are as a couple isn't enough for Camille.
She has an addictive personality -- she's gotten several tattoos in the past months - I'm fine with tattoos but more than 2 in a such a short time span screams that she is trying to self soothe in some new way. Same with shopping. She loves to shop - I guess I've given up on shopping, it's just not fun for me anymore. I buy what a need and once in awhile I need what I want and that's how it is.
She's a great friend and I really wish she would just try to get a fix on what is going on that she is being so thrill seeking and destructive to her marriage. I just don't get it.
I've offically moved back to my beloved Texas region at work. Goodbye dark side of the buidling with no windows and goodbye to my "naughty corner" cubical. Good bye Ima Horrible-Boss and good bye snappy canadians who don't like it when I call them with my "state side voice".
It was amazing how happy I was at work yesterday. A little sunshine can make a difference.
So that's a good news, I did have an emotional break down in a meeting with my bosses' bosses office. Alas happiness is bound to be the emotion instead of dread and distain. At least for awhile.
So I'm going to say this -- the Rules are lame and needed to be broken.
I broke down and called Dave yesterday because I had fantastic news.
I'm thinking The Rules apply to only certain people. Or can only be do-able by certain people. I am not one of them. I'm impatient, in love and currently the rules provide me with no real benifit - this was determined after 24 hours of thinking about participating in the rules and then giving up on them completly.
#1) Southerners -- don't ask me why but the Rules are a little step back to the time of Gone With the Wind mixed in with re-run scandals and drama from Dallas.
#2) Delicate creatures -- I'm not delicate-- I'm a creature unlike any other because I can be rude and blunt. I swear and pass gas, and urinate with out abandon anywhere I need to, including the great wide yonder and I'm not going to have a hissy fit if I'm amongst nature and need to drip dry.
#3) Must have the following:
Long flowing hair -- lots of hair flipping and playing with hair tips to seduce in the book. Short to medium frizzy, wavy or poofy hair is no where mentioned or described on how to make it look appealing let alone seductive.
Manicured fingernails: I think the world should feel blessed if I paint them with clear polish. I had pretty fingernails -- but seriously it's not worth the time, money or destruction to my natural nail to have arcylics on and well I'm still bite them when I'm stressed out.
Pedicured feet: My toenails are slivers and although I've tried the press on toe nails-- I think Dave would be slightly disturbed if one popped off while he was tormenting me by tickling my feet -- and frankly that's one rule I'll follow: Do not gross out the boyfriend with toenails falling off in a tickle fight.
High heels: I'm practically falling and tripping over my feet and or shoes when I wear flats. High heels although super adorable, and I've learned how to walk in them -- always result in a) sore feet b) blisters c) swollen or spraigned ankles. I've given up -- I need flats and that's that. I might consider a wedge but nothing like the fun flirty shoes I once wore. Unless of course New Balance or Puma branch out to the high heel market then I might consider but I"m pretty sure they'd be f-ugly.
Lipstick: Plenty of teasing tips with lipstick - but frankly I feel slightly whorish while wearing it, not sure what it is - I'm fine with every other make up product but for my lips I prefer a clear gloss or my all time favorite grape chapstick, or cherry if I can't find the grape one or it went through the wash -- knock on wood.
What are my rules then:
1.
I try not to talk about my period, bloatedness, breast tenderness, gyno appointments, and or anything else medically or biologically affiliated with pretty parts with my love nugget - unless need be for obvious reasons.
2.
I try to mute my burps so they are not the buxom Kristen burps you might be familiar with - they are instead dainty -- but Dave is still alarmed by a 1 on the richter scale of burps. So they are smaller cuter and sometimes funny. But no longer the alphabet or loud booming burps they once were. I've tried - but I physically can not burp a big one in front of him.
Same with farts -- I'll try to excuse myself - but after eating a burito or any other gas inducing foods -- they are bound to happen - so I wait until he fluffs first and then try to be quiet and non-deadly. I will my fluffer farts to be delicate and smell like an ocean breaze. haha- I'm not very skilled at willing them this way - but I will one day percivere.
3. We share the tab -- we don't follow any sort of rhyme or reason but we each take turns. Same with driving. Yes, he still remembers my doors most of the time. I'm not the queen of England so I can't expect that he should get them every time but he's pretty good about it.
4. I do nice things for him and he does nice things for me. i.e. I do the dishes, he remembers to bring up a towel for me at night so when I get up before him I don't have to stumble downstairs and get one in the morning. cute and dorky tenderness, no where mentioned in the rules book...
5. We are open and honest about stuff -- I even have a special "disapproving look" face that he is an expert at identifying.
So my rule is just to be me and not play ridiculous games otherwise I might come off as a weirdo and I'm already a freak of nature.
This is a brief list of the rules from Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's book titled The Rules:
#1: Be a creature unlike any other: Ok I get that, be confident, alluring etc. I more like a wackadoo but I guess that works - I'm unlike any other right?
#2: Don't talk to a man first (Don't ask him to dance). Ok the speak when spoken to - a little dated and no worries on the dancing part -- this body doesn't dance, maybe it's part of being a creature unlike any other.
#3: Don't stare at Men or Talk to Much. OK I won't look longingly in his eyes and I'll put the babbling brook that is my mouth in check.
#4: Don't meet him halfway or go dutch on a date. Well I normally go to his place- - what am I supposed to do - drive an hour and fifteen minutes home and wait for him to pick me up? That's ridiculous we wouldn't get to dinner until my body was feeding off itself -- maybe that would be the way to go then?
#5: Don't call him and rarely return his calls. I get the don't call him part -- make him call you, wait in misery for the call but not to call him back isn't that rude?
#6: Always end the phone call first. I'm bad at this - I go on and on sometimes. But I guess I can practice this one.
#7: Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday. Shit, I can barely even get a Saturday night date now - especially during classic car show season. But ok -- so Dave has until tonight to a) call me b) make plans for Saturday. grr. I'm going to have another boring weekend.
#8: Fill up your time before the date. I'm past the pretty stage but I guess I could try a little harder to be cute before a date and that would fill up the time.
#9: Always end the date first. Our dates usually end when we get up and go to work in the morning.
#10: Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for Valentines or your birthday- phew, he's safe he did a great job with both Valentines and Birthday presents.
#11: Don't see him more than once or twice a week. Umm that's the current problem?
#12: No more than casual kissing on the first date. Well we were good kids, I don't think we kissed until the third date.
#13: Don't rush into sex -- well it's happened, don't be alarmed and no it's not going to be given up for the sake of the rules... I need it too much.
#14: Don't tell him what to do. I'll ask nicely and say please.
#15: Let him take the lead. Yep, that's the plan. It usually results in watching tv and cooking for him. Some lead...
#16: Don't expect a man to change or try to change him. Ok, but seriously- if I'm washing the dishes he could at least rinse them.
#17: Don't open up to fast: I'm open, but it's happened over time.
#18: Be honest but Mysterious. Grr these sound like head games... I'm not that good at head games, I'm better at board games.
#19: Don't live with a man - or leave your things at his place. What? That's the goal. Plus, I need certain things at his house for getting ready in the morning.
#20: Don't date a married man. ok. not an issue.
So that's the plan... I don't think I'll last 2 days but that's the plan.
