hula hoops and hampster wheels

I remember being little and watching national geographic tv shows with my dad. He was trying to take a saturday afternoon nap and knew that the only way I'd fall asleep is if he made me watch and listen about Elephants and Tigers.

I remember learning how to ride my bike -- I just got my training wheels off and he would jog behind me holding the metal loop of my pink banana seat bike and then how he let go -- and I was doing it by myself and then relized it -- I fell and scraped my knee.

I remember my dad calling me at work at 3:30 in the afternoon almost every day -- telling me what creatures were in the back yard -- or talking about the cake he just made. Then arriving home at 6 or so -- he wanted me to help him frost it and then eat it before dinner and give him my official thumbs up for approval.

I remember when I would be sad over a tramatic junior high or highschool relationship ending in turmoil and how he would offer to go over and talk to him and or beat him up.

I remember how in every year book he would write compliments of the chef. And I'm overwhelmed at see his handwriting on a scratch of paper.

I'm finding it harder now to remember his exact voice. But I can hear him from time to time crystal clear.

I remember fishing and working in the garden with him -- digging for worms, not afraid of leeches or nightcrawlers.

I remember once we left early in the morning to go fishing and we stopped somewhere to get breakfast and I wanted a California burger -- and the waitress said they weren't serving lunch but my dad asked her if they would be able to make french fries and serve them with pancakes.

I remeber learning how to mow the yard, and then him shaking his head when I finished and it looked like a drunken kangaroo was in charge of the yard.

Things I don't remember -- I don't remember the last time we hugged or said I love you- instead we spoke through the cats -- Riley Roo loves you dad -- Maxwell loves you Kristen.

Right now I'm living in this new world. Everything is now on a spectrum - before and after my dad died.

Funny things like a mounds bar can bring me to tears -- just because it was his favorite. Or today I had to take my car in to get an oil change -- this is something my Dad used to do for me since he knows I hate to wait around.

So I go to Slim's. I've never been there myself but my car is there almost every 45-50 days for it's oil change (yes, I drive that much -- sad isn't it?) But today I had to take it in myself -- last month my mom did this for me -- but she was busy today so voila -- I took a day off of work to hang out with my sister who is in town and my mom made me an appointment.

SO I get to Slim's park my car -- pull the seat back since no one but my sister could possibly sit in the drivers seat with it being pulled all the way forward.

I push it back -- and go inside. There is a older gentleman behind the counter -- his patches on shirt read: Slim's Motor Clinic on one side -- and Slim on the other. I go up to the counter -- say I am here for an oil change appointment and give my name. He's asks if I'm Randy's daughter and proceeds to tell me how sorry he is for my loss -- and that he knows it's hard and that he liked my dad and thought he was a real charachter. I hand over my keys and he says he'll get things started right away.

After sitting and waiting -- he pulls up the file in the computer and asks me what car it is -- I tell him and he wants to know which one -- he has two in his system -- I state the 06 - and that I traded the 04 in on a whim -- he's like that's right your dad said that. After my oil change he puts out his hand to shake -- I shake his hand and say nice to meet you. He said he missed my dad but it's nice to meet me and said how nice it was for him to take care of me by bringing my car in. I smile -- on the verge of tears as I leave.

I'm changing my name to Grace-- Dave calls me this on occaison -- when I do normal things and some how manage to hurt myself -- and inatimate objects around me.

I fall out of bed on a regular basis -- Dave's bed is higher than my bed and in the morning hours when I'm not quite with it yet -- my depth perception is off all of the time so I guess I can't always blame it on the morning grog -- but I fall out of bed.

I run into coffee tables -- I trip -- I drop things -I spill.

Coffee tables have turned me blue -- maybe I just can't walk straight. Maybe I got some clumsy gene from my parents -- but I make a fool out of myself trying to do normal everyday things.

I've slipped in the shower -- sprained an ankle doing it and hobble around on crutches getting into more trouble for my lack of equilibrium.

I have lots of sweaters and shirts that I bought for work and after one or two wearings they have a spot or a stain --

I some how manage to get chocolate on my khakki work pants almost everyday -- thank you Dockers for being so stain resistant!

The injuries have effected my life permanently -- I can no longer ski or ice skate due to poor ankles from spraining them on several occaisons -

Yesterday I droped a diet coke can on my big toe -- it hurts

I'm pretty much a disaster zone some or most of the time -- maybe I should consider wearing a hard hat at all times.

Nah, that would ruin the 1/7 good hair days I have in a week.

So in my quest to find a cure for hiccups -- I found some other old wives tales: Here is the A-Z list from: http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com

Acorns:
If you carry an acorn, you will have continued good luck and a long life. -- but I don't want a tree to grow in my pocket --

Bell:
It’s been said that the bells provide protection from demons as they are scared of the loud noise.
ding dong the witch is dead

Calves:
If the first baby calf born in the winter is white, it’s a sign that the winter will be very harsh.
my calves are lily white all year long... some people just don't tan!

Door:
It’s believed that leaving a house through any door other than the one that is used to enter the house is bad luck.
i'm thinking this was invented to keep teenagers from sneaking out! What about a fire? Well I guess the fire would be the bad luck?

Ears:
If your right ear itches, someone is saying something nice about you. If it’s the left, someone’s saying something bad about you.
I can't remember the last time my ears itched? Do chicken pox cancel this out -- well I suppose they created the vaccine so obviously -- what was I thinking!

Fingernails:
Cutting your nails on Friday or Sunday is bad luck. Fingernail clippings should be saved, burned, or buried to prevent bad luck. I've never burned my clippings -- they usually fly all over the place.

Good Friday:
The Friday before Easter is Good Friday. If someone dies on Good Friday, they will go directly to Heaven. Good to know -- but will the Easter bunny be notified in time?

Horseshoes:
Hanging a horseshoe above the door to any home will bring good luck to all who live there.
Western wear is always in fashion for home decor.

Itchy Nose:
It’s still said that if your nose itches, a fool is about to kiss you.
Kiss me baby.

Jogging:
You shouldn’t jog. It jumbles up your insides.
Agreed. Jogging should be outlawed.

Knitting:
Placing the needles in the balls of yarn will bring bad luck to anyone who used the item that yarn is used to make.
Good thing I crochet!

Leaves:
If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of fall, you will not get sick that whole winter.
Do I have to put it in my pocket with the acorn ---

Milk:
When boiling milk, it’s bad luck to let it run over the side of the pot.
Who boils milk?

Nose:
If your nose itches, you will soon get a visitor. Right nostril indicates a female visitor, left nostril indicates male visitor.
Scratch n Sniff

Onions:
If you make a wish over burning onions, it will come true.
Bunt onions for dinner -- who's hungry?

Pencil:
Use the same pencil for taking a test as was used for studying for the same test. The pencil will remember the answers.
I hate pencils -- does this still work with pens?
Robin:
Make a wish on the first robin you see in spring and it will come true – if you can finish making the wish before the robin flies away.
Thank god I don't have to put the robin in my pocket, it'd probably steal my acorn.

Scissors:
Dropping a pair of scissors means that your lover is seeing someone behind your back.
Well what if you are klutzy and without a lover?


Thirteen:
Thirteen is just an unlucky number in general.
ok.

Umbrella:
If an umbrella is dropped on the floor of a house, someone in that house is going to die shortly.
It's not the flag- -- I drop everything this concerns me.

Veil:
Bride’s wear veils due to the ancient belief that this will protect them from jealous evil spirits.
Well I'll remember that for my wedding day, It propbably keeps bees and mosquitoes away too!

Wood:
If speaking of good luck, knock on wood three times so evil spirits won’t take it away.
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me, catchy tune.
X:
The lines on the palm of your right hand that show an “X” represent the number of children you will have.
Shit, by this I'm supposed to have 6 children...

Yawn:
Covering your mouth when you yawn will prevent your soul from leaving your body when you yawn.

I thought it was cause I had bad yawn breath?
Zzzzz:
Sorry, we fell asleep.